


Trinity

by Blueisthecolor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2013, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Non-Canon Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-17
Updated: 2013-10-17
Packaged: 2017-12-29 17:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1008155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueisthecolor/pseuds/Blueisthecolor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel are pulled from Purgatory. At first, Dean can't remember what had happened. Sam needs help with a new issue that is on the rise. The children of the world are slowly going missing and the boys suspect a new cult. When demons start to disappear as well, the King of Hell can't help but ask the boys for assistance. Obviously, this can only end in bloodshed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Once Upon a Time

**Author's Note:**

> This story picks up where Season 7 left off. Season 8 is considered, thought about, looked at carefully, and then thoroughly ignored.
> 
> I want to thank my amazing artist, playthefool! The masterlist of her art is located here: http://playthefool.livejournal.com/333631.html

Trinity

_“Love is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure:_  
1\. Acceptance  
2\. Understanding  
3\. Appreciation  
Remove any one of the three and the triangle falls apart.  
Which, by the way, is something highly inadvisable. Think about it — do you really want to live in a world of only two dimensions?  
So, for the love of a triangle, please keep love whole.”   
(Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration) 

**Once Upon a Time…**

 

The silence was deafening. 

There were no voices, no one screaming at him, taunting him and he knew he should feel relief but he was petrified. 

Terror was the only thing that he could feel. It was the only thing he'd known for so long. He didn’t know how long he’d been there, locked away with nothing but pain and suffering, alone and afraid. All he wanted was for it to end but he never believed it would. His fear and pain were only equaled by his hate. He hated all of them for what they had done to him. He was alone. He was forgotten.

“I hadn’t forgotten,” a voice spoke from deep within the surrounding darkness.

He flinched. 

Immediately, he thought the others had returned but this voice was different.

“Oh, don’t fret. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to make a deal.”

Slowly, he moved his arms from over his head and blinked up at the person speaking. The man stood there, dressed in black and blending in with the surrounding emptiness. The man didn’t look frightening but he exuded power and if he knew anything he knew that powerful people caused the most pain. 

There was nothing but darkness and though he could see the man he could see no source of light. He could feel the solid ground below him and the walls around him as he pushed his body further into a corner, trying to hide, but he could not see the walls. His throat clicked dryly as he tried to form words. With much effort he whispered, “How?”

One word and yet the man seemed to know exactly what he meant.

With a broad, twisting smile, the man said, “They forgot you down here, didn’t they? Such good souls they are… _not_. See, I have small friends in low places that owe me a bit of…well, everything. I just had one nip in and pluck you out before anyone else noticed.”

A low rumbling growl echoed off in the distance. It grew louder, deafening, causing him to cringe in on himself until he felt his ears would burst from the sound. He clasped his hands over his head, trying in vain to block the sound out as it reverberated within his skull. When he felt he couldn't take anymore it finally faded away into the blackness.

The man shrugged, seemingly unperturbed by the roar. He said, “Guess they did notice.”

Slowly lowering his arms to curl them close to his chest, he croaked, “They'll find me.” 

The man smiled again. It wasn’t a reassuring smile. It was predatory and knowing and he wanted to look away from it. He found he couldn’t, though. He needed to see this man. He needed to hear what he had to offer. Anything was better than going back. 

“They won’t find you. They can’t. Not unless I put you back and I don’t plan on doing that unless you turn down my little proposition.” He looked down at one hand, admiring his nails before tucking it behind his back. “See, I’m working on a little…endeavor. My world is a bit crowded right now and I’d like very much to expand my domain. There are already a few factors that still need to be addressed but those are the easy pieces to move on the chess board. You, my little pawn, are the most difficult piece to maneuver. The others have already done their time in their respective locations. You have two more tasks. They won’t be easy but if you agree I promise you I will make it all worth your trouble.”

He didn’t understand any of that. It didn’t make sense but he realized suddenly that as long as he wasn’t in pain it didn’t matter. “What tasks?”

The man seemed to puff up. “That’s the best part. The first one is so easy. You’ve already suffered and unlike some of my former associates, I don’t believe in breaking a soul just to get what I want. There are other ways. Revenge, for instance.”

He was even more confused. It felt like the man was talking in circles and he couldn’t follow his train of thought. That was probably on purpose but he couldn’t keep up. He tried again to make sense of things. “Revenge?”

“Oh, you know you just want to reach out and bite them. The ones that left you here are now living all happy families while you suffer daily torture. They never cared. They never once thought of you; thought to save you. They let you rot. So, what I say is we turn you into something that they hate. Something they fear. After I get what I want then you can do what you wish with them. It won’t matter. All you have to do is say yes.”

He thought about this. If what the man was saying was true and made any sense then he would be able to strike out against them. Hurt them the way they hurt him. Make them suffer the way he himself had suffered. “What do I need to do?”

The smile that curled the man’s lips made him want to scream. He had a feeling, only a slight blip of a feeling, that he had made a mistake. The man came in closer and knelt down before him. He reached a burning hot hand down to take his face and tilt it up towards him. “I will turn you into one of my little children and you will help me get what I want. When I rule over Hell, Heaven and Earth then you will be free to destroy the Winchesters and their bloody angel. Do we have a deal?”

The images and faces of the family that put him here raced through his mind. This was what he wanted. Revenge for the pain and revenge for the abandonment. Family meant nothing. All that mattered was revenge. He focused his eyes on the man before him and whispered, “Yes.”

The last thing he remembered was a kiss and then he knew no more.

~*~

The first thing he felt when he came to consciousness was that he was wet. Not soaking wet but the dewy kind of wet that clung to your skin and clothes after spending the night outdoors. He was also very cold. That could be because of the dampness but it probably had more to do with the fact that he was naked.

He swallowed dryly and cracked open an eye.

Above him was a canopy of stars and below his reaching fingers was thick wet grass. _Why am I naked in a field?_ he thought. Honestly, he had no idea and he couldn’t bring himself to move so he could find out. His head was spinning and he gripped the grass tightly like a drunk afraid of falling off the Earth. He moaned as his stomach rolled and he just knew he was going to puke at any second. 

There was a moaning sound that came from beside him and he couldn’t get his mind to begin to fathom who it could be. It was familiar but his brain wouldn’t allow him to remember. He tried to think but only came to the realization that he didn’t even remember his own name.

Below his fingers the ground began to tremble and in the distance he could hear the sound of a low rumbling. Again, there was a familiarity but no actual memory to support it. He reached out with his hand as the moan next to him grew and a hand tightly clasped onto his and held on. Both the rumbling and the trembling stopped and he could feel the thudding of something. Whatever it was it was running towards him and he felt a rush of fear.

“Dean?” a voice called and before he could assess whether it was his name or the name of his mystery moaner, the voice cried out, “GUYS! THEY’RE OVER HERE! BRING BLANKETS!!!”

It’s a woman. He should feel uncomfortable at being so exposed but he was too busy trying to think of why her voice sounded so familiar and reassuring.

“Is it Dean?” a deeper, male voice called and he could feel the heavy footsteps that went along with it. Another set, lighter, tromped along with the heavier ones. He opened his eyes again, not even remembering that he’d shut them. “Dean?” the deep voice asked again before he felt something hitting the ground next to his head. He looked up at the source of the voice. A pinched face and soft eyes knelt over him and looked down at him in concern. He could feel something covering his body. He wanted to touch it, to feel its softness, but he was afraid of letting go of the grass and the hand. They seemed to be anchoring him to this awareness and he was afraid if he let go it would all disappear. He worked his mouth but he couldn’t seem to make a sound. The other moaning sounded again and the man hovering over him looked up. “Cas?”

_Cas,_ he remembered that name. That name meant something to him. 

“Jody is he…?” the man asked. He could feel one of the people moving around him but he couldn’t take his eyes off the man that leaned over him, touching his face, pushing against his throat and being a freakin’ girl.

“He’s okay, I think,” the woman, Jody, said. For some reason he felt a rush of relief at those words. He wanted to turn his head to see but his body wouldn’t respond. The man kept touching him. He was pulling at his eyelids, shining a light into his eyes and just completely pissing him off. 

With an enormous amount of energy, he released the grass and swung his arm up and around in a circle and with a voice like gravel he cried, “- the fuck off, Sammy!”

“Dean!” Sam cried and pulled Dean into a tight hug. Dean struggled against him, weakly. “I’ve got you, Dean. You’re safe. You’re home.”

_Home?_

Dean stopped fighting, exhaustion and confusion kicked in. He was home. Cas was alive and he was home. He turned his head to look Sam in the eyes. He could feel the words bubble up from inside of him. They were words that he didn’t really want to say because he had a feeling he really didn’t want to know the answer. His voice came out in a rough whistle as he asked, “Where was I?”

~*~

He remembered the third person, Tamara, coming over to stare at him with mounting concern. Why was everyone so worried? Granted, he was naked and he was lying in a field with Cas and he couldn’t remember how he had gotten there or where he’d been before that but really, did that give people a free pass to stare like he was a reptile in a zoo? Tamara and Sam exchanged worried looks and Dean only glared. They weren’t going to tell him anything and he was too weak to fight. 

He allowed them to carry him to the Impala. His baby. She was the rumbling he had heard and his heart literally skipped a beat at seeing her. He hadn’t been too keen on them separating him from Cas, though. He couldn’t see the angel and it worried him that Castiel hadn’t spoken a word. Once settled into the Impala, nestled up between Castiel and Jody, Dean relaxed and he must have fallen asleep because he woke up in a warm bed, wearing soft pajamas and feeling clean. His arm hurt. That was odd because he couldn’t remember hurting it but it was bandaged so Sam must have taken care of it.

Next to him, still unconscious, lay Castiel. The bed was only just big enough for the pair and Dean squirmed slightly at their closeness. It didn't bother him to be lying this close to Castiel but he thought it should. Perhaps he was just too exhausted to care. Though, it was nice when he realized that he could fully move on his own again. That was a blessing. He just didn’t want to move. It was warm and he was dry and Cas was breathing steadily in a way that calmed Dean. 

From the other room he could hear voices. Sam, Jody and Tamara were trying to talk quietly but the cabin –he recognized it as the one they’d used with Bobby- had walls like rice paper.

“I don’t know why he doesn’t remember. Perhaps it’s a side-effect of where they were. I wish I actually knew what had happened to him,” Sam said.

Great! Not even Sam knew where they’d been.

“I’m more concerned about the angel. I know you said he wasn’t right in the head before he and Dean disappeared. I don’t know why he hasn’t woken up yet. He’s not responsive to anything. At least Dean flinched when we cut his arm with the silver blade,” that was Tamara. That also explained the bandage on his arm.

“I just wish I knew where those boys were. I mean, were they naked the whole time or did we catch them during-”

“Jody,” Sam groaned, cutting her off.

“What? I was going to say a bath,” said Jody, and Dean could hear a touch of amusement to her voice. 

That pissed him off but it was when Sam and Tamara chuckled that he growled.

“Shhhh, Dean. We’re safe,” Castiel whispered in his gravelly baritone and pulled him close.

Dean’s eyes went large like dinner plates at the action and he pushed himself away from Cas. Castiel finally opened his eyes and blinked at him with those impossibly blue orbs. Even with half his head buried in a pillow, Cas was still able to cock his head questioningly. “Dean?” he asked, blinking owlishly.

Dean twisted in the blankets and fell on his knees onto the floor. The sound of it brought the three from the other room rushing in. “Dean? Are you all right?” Sam asked, coming over to help his brother. 

Pushing Sam away, Dean scrambled back against the bed, refusing to look up at Castiel. “Will someone tell me what the Hell is going on? You guys are whispering like girls and Cas is all touchy-feely under the covers and I want answers.”

“First, two of us _are_ girls,” Tamara replied, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at Dean. “Second, we don’t know. You disappeared a year ago and your brother has spent all that time trying to find you.” 

Dean looked up at Sam. “Really? A year?”

Sam nodded and gave him a lopsided smile.

Jody crossed the room to check on Castiel. She sat on the edge of the bed as Castiel turned to lay on his back to look at her. “You gave us a scare,” she said to the angel.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel replied, looking penitent. “I knew we were safe. I was not injured so I felt no need to fuss.”

She smoothed a hand through his hair and smiled at him. “Just don’t do it again, okay? We needed to know you were all right.” She leaned in closer and looked deeply into his eyes. “You are all right?”

Dean saw the edges of Castiel’s mouth turn up slightly. If you didn't know the angel you wouldn't even recognize the twitch as a form of amusement. “If you mean mentally, then yes. Purgatory must have fixed my psychosis. At least there is that.”

The exchange between Jody and Castiel caused a curl of something Dean didn’t want to label wrap around his heart and squeeze. He didn’t like the way they were looking at one another even if it was more awe in Jody and interest in Cas. However, all those thoughts were cut off when another hit him. He turned his body to look over the edge of the bed, instantly regretting it when Castiel's eyes met his.

“Purgatory?” he questioned, loudly. “We were in freakin’ Purgatory? You mean like, monster afterlife Purgatory?”

Castiel held his gaze for a moment before replying, “Yes, Dean. When Dick Roman died, we were pulled with him into Purgatory. You don’t remember this?”

Dean turned and collapsed against the bed and thought. He remembered Dick Roman, the Leviathan. He remembered Cas helping him, defending him and throwing himself in front of Dean to protect him from the monster. He remembered the monster exploding and then he remembered…

“You left me,” Dean said and it came out in a rough whisper. He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand against his face. He could feel Castiel shift on the bed and the air in the room seemed to grow thick and heavy.

Jody looked at the pair and slowly stood. She touched Sam’s arm as she passed and motioned for him and Tamara to follow. She didn’t think they needed to be here for this conversation. Sam looked like he was about to argue but she shot him a warning look and he sighed before leaving. She shut the door to the room to give the boys their privacy.

Castiel sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Dean, we went over this when you found me. I did it to protect you.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you did it. Last I checked I was a big boy and could even tie my own shoes. Bet I could even make a choice like, I dunno, staying with my friend to help him survive. Did it ever occur to you to think that the two of us are stronger together then apart?” Dean ground out.

Castiel looked down at him and said in a weary voice, “We discussed this as well.”

Dean blinked. “Oh.” He hadn’t remembered that. Actually, as the memories trickled in, he found he couldn’t remember much beyond his killing spree to find Cas and befriending Benny.

“Benny didn’t make it, did he?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know,” Cas replied. “We never made it to the portal he knew of. Whatever spell your brother used to pull us out didn’t know to grab Benny.” Dean couldn’t tell if Castiel sounded relieved or saddened. 

No, he thought, Sam wouldn’t have known about Benny. Damn. He had promised the vampire he would get him out. Now, on top of barely remembering him, he felt guilt.

They sat there in mutual silence for what felt like forever before Castiel’s deep voice whispered, “You really don’t remember everything?” Dean glanced up at him. He could see a glimmer of something in Castiel's eyes but he couldn’t imagine what it could be.

“Nope,” he said and the glimmer faded. “I’m…sorry?”

Castiel held his gaze. It should bother him that he and Cas have such staring sessions, wordless and yet full of meaning, but it didn’t. It was calming. It was part of them and it grounded Dean in ways he couldn’t explain. However, when Cas sighed and turned away, Dean felt like he had just blown something important. He kept looking, hoping to find what it was that Cas wanted him to acknowledge. He found himself drawn to Castiel’s beard and lifted a hand to touch it. 

“Nice peach-fuzz,” he said and Castiel turned back to look at him, grabbing his wrist before he could pull away. 

“You said that there too,” said Castiel, sadly.

They stared again. Dean wanted to remember because it was obvious that Cas _needed_ him to remember. He opened his mouth and whispered, “Tell me.”

Castiel only gave a minute shake of his head. “I can’t, Dean. You need to remember on your own.”

His large blue eyes only grew sadder as he slowly removed Dean’s hand from his face. 

A knock on the door pulled both of their attentions and Sam’s head popped in. “There’s food if you’re hungry,” he said. 

Dean’s stomach growled loudly as if the mere mention of food was enough to remind him to eat. Then the scent of bacon drifted in past Sam and he felt a smile take over his face as he looked at his brother. Thoughts of what Castiel wanted from him were pushed to the back of his mind. Food first, touchy-feely thoughts later.

~*~

Breakfast was wonderful. Jody had made everything from oatmeal –which Dean steadily ignored- to eggs and bacon and biscuits and gravy. Dean ate until he thought he’d burst. Even Castiel ate. Well, he tried things. He still didn’t need to eat but Jody was so encouraging that he tasted everything she put on his plate. He liked the fried eggs and the sausage gravy but had very little interest in the biscuits or the oatmeal. He did enjoy some of the fruits she had put out as well and of course, he loved the bacon. Though, when Dean’s plate was empty and no one looked to be paying attention, he would shift his bacon to Dean, earning him a large grin from the older Winchester brother. Dean would reciprocate by piling more fruit onto Cas’ plate.

Sam noticed, though. He kept a mental note of all the exchanged looks, touches, and just general care. It wasn’t totally out of the ordinary. Dean and Castiel had always taken care of one another. This was just a slight bit different. This was…more. He couldn’t explain it. It was the same jokes, the same looks, the same stupid put-downs and teasing but, underneath it all, something was different. 

Or perhaps he just really missed his brother and his brother-in-arms.

No one discussed anything important during breakfast. They just wanted to enjoy their time back together for a bit before the questions began again.

Tamara and Sam cleared the table while Dean and Jody sipped their coffee and Castiel looked around the cabin as if seeing it for the first time. Well, it was the first time sane. Dean watched him with a soft look of amusement on his face and Jody just smiled at the two of them like an indulgent mother. 

Dean turned to watch his brother. A year. He just couldn’t believe it had been a year since he had last seen Sammy. Even though he couldn’t remember most of it; the idea of not seeing the moose for that long was heart-wrenching. Had he been hunting all this time, alone? Had he gotten hurt and Dean wasn’t there to help him? What if he had gotten killed while Dean was stuck in Purgatory? And that still messed with his brain. He and Cas had been sent to Purgatory and now they were home. His nine lives were quickly running out.

He took a sip of his coffee and smirked at the way Sam and Tamara blew soap bubbles at each other while they washed the dishes, bumping elbows and generally acting like kids. “Those two seem to get along,” he commented, nodding toward his brother and the other hunter.

Jody gave him another one of her enigmatic smiles. “Tamara has been a lifesaver. Not sure how long she and Sam have been working together but they seem to keep each other in line.” Her smile grew brighter as the two in the kitchen began to poke at one another and soon Sam was getting hit on the ass with a dish towel. 

"At least Sammy wasn’t alone," sighed Dean. It still bothered Dean that he wasn't able to be with his brother, but he could at least allow some of the tension within him to unravel knowing Sam had had help. “I didn’t know Tamara had kept hunting. Her husband was killed on a case we were all working a few years back. Glad to see she’s doing good.”

Jody glanced at Dean with a puzzled expression before it cleared and she just shook her head. “Well, they contacted me a few months ago with an idea to get you boys home. Some sort of locating and retrieval spell using personal effects and stuff. All real archaic. All they needed me for was to keep the area clear and help you guys once we got to you.”

Dean nodded. Leave it to Sammy to find a spell that would work. His little brother the genius. 

Jody continued, though, picking up her thought from before she had derailed herself. “Honestly, though, I’m not sure how long they were together before that.”

The word ‘together’ made Dean shudder internally but he just pushed that to the back of his mind. 

“Did all the Leviathan follow Dick Roman into Purgatory?” Castiel asked, resuming his seat at the table. His eyes focused on the older woman. “We encountered some in Purgatory but I’m unsure if that was all of them.”

Dean looked at Castiel and sighed. He really wished he could remember. He remembered monsters but nothing specific. He couldn’t even tell you exactly what Benny looked like. He couldn’t understand why Cas remembered and he couldn’t.

“You’d have to check with Sam on the details but I haven’t had a single issue. They seemed to just disappear. All their plans seemed to halt and the government blamed it on Roman. Came up with some scandal of sorts involving money laundering and poor investments and they even got PETA involved saying that Roman Industries was using animals to test preservatives and carcinogens. It was messy for awhile. People who had invested lost lots of money but in the end, as with all of those types of cover-ups, everyone forgot as soon as the next big thing popped up on their news feeds,” said Jody. 

Castiel nodded at her as Dean asked, “What did they say happened to Dick?” 

She smirked and went into ‘church gossip’ mode. “Apparently, old Roman was getting money from some questionable friends and when he didn’t meet a few deadlines they broke into his offices, killed a bunch of his employees and murdered Roman. No one is sure who these friends were but the government is still investigating.” Dean chuckled at that. Leave it to the government to put that kind of spin on the situation. Even though he doubted there had even been any bodies.

“What was the next big thing, Sheriff Mills?” Castiel asked, not finding the humor in the cover up the way Jody and Dean had.

“Please, Cas, call me Jody,” she said as she looked down at her coffee. Her normally youthful face suddenly looked every one of her years. “You mean besides the continuing wars and debt? Well, kids began to go missing. Two or three at a time from all over the place. That was before Sam contacted me about finding you. We lost five in Sioux Falls alone.” Sam’s hand came to rest on Jody’s shoulder and she looked up at him, thankfully. Dean hadn’t even noticed he had rejoined the table.

Sam offered her a soft smile and took over the story. “Tamara and I were tracking the missing children. Dean, it makes no sense.”

“Wait. Are you saying it’s still happening? Kids are still disappearing out there?” Dean asked, his hands tightening up around his mug.

Sam nodded and looked away. “When I found the spell to pull you and Cas from wherever you had gone, I had to stop and try. We weren’t getting anywhere on our own at least if we could save you-“

“I’d help,” Dean supplied. He took a deep breath and glanced at Castiel. Cas caught his eye and they shared a short nod. Of course, Sam would not only want him back but also needed his help. He turned to his brother and said, “Go on.”

Sam sighed and visibly relaxed. “Thank you, guys. Well, these kids are between the ages of 6 and 17 and there is nowhere that’s safe. One day there would be three kids missing from Maryland and two days later another four from Alabama. Some places, like Sioux Falls, were hit twice. We were running ragged and trying to find a single clue. There’s just nothing. No sign of the kids, no sign of it being demon or skin-walker or…just nothing.”

Tamara had rejoined them at the table and was refilling coffee mugs. Dean had a sudden urge to get something stronger but he didn’t move from his spot at the table. She touched Sam’s hand when it looked as though he couldn’t keep going. Sam looked at her and didn’t quite smile.

She turned to Dean, taking a seat across from him. She was as pretty as the last time Dean had seen her and as she spoke, he found himself in love with her voice. “These kids are always taken while at parks, museums or outings. It’s usually a large group gathering where a couple of kids inevitably shuffle off to do their own thing. No one would notice because there are so many people. It really goes against most monster M.O.’s we know.”

“So, what do we do now?” Dean asked, clapping his hands, ready to get dirty and jump into the case.

Sam shook his head. “Right now? Nothing. There hasn’t been a disappearance in a week. We’ve already scoured the last three abduction sites and until another clue appears we’re literally dead in the water. I hate to say we’re waiting on more kidnappings but we just don’t have anything to work with right now.”

Cas spoke, asking, “How many are missing?”

Tamara answered, “Six hundred fourteen, maybe more. There are some cases from last year that may or may not be a part of all this. They are all similar.”

“Holy shit!” Dean exclaimed.

“Have you looked into cults?” Castiel asked, standing up and walking over to the bookshelf on the wall. It didn’t have Bobby Singer’s whole collection but it was a start. 

“We looked into some but there aren’t any active ones at the moment that could possibly work on such a large scale,” Tamara answered again.

Tipping a book into his hands, Castiel opened it as he walked over to the table to start researching, absently scratching his beard as he went. He didn’t glance up when he spoke. “None that you know of but that does not mean they do not exist.”

Tamara looked at Sam as if she had been slapped. “Sorry,” Sam said. “He's rude like that sometimes. Poor people skills.”

She blinked in confusion before rolling her eyes. “No, you twit. I’m not offended. I’m amazed we didn’t think to continue pursuing that line of thought. We’re such idiots.” She got up and began raiding the bookshelf.

Jody looked at her watch. “I can help for a few hours. Then I have a sheriff’s department to run. You guys know you can call me and I’ll help out where I can.”

Dean sat still in shock for a moment as his brain began to fully process everything. He had been in Purgatory. Now he wasn’t. Now kids are going missing and there may be a cult to blame. Also, he was still in pajamas. He mentally shrugged and with a jerk of his head, he said, “Let’s hit the books, Sammy.” 

Sam smiled and stood up, lightly bopping Dean on the back of his head as he passed. “Missed you, Jerk.”

“Same here, bitch.”

Castiel glanced up from his book to look at the brothers and sighed.

~*~

Four hours later and everyone was in full-on research mode. Jody had returned to the Sioux Falls, but the others were all diligently scouring every book and internet link to find something to help them. Sam was sitting on the sofa with his laptop open, tapping at keys and taking notes. Tamara sat on the other side of the sofa, her toes tucked underneath Sam’s leg as she read a thick tome on ancient cults. There was a stack of books on the floor in front of her. Dean was at the table, three books open and a few piles strewn about the table. His eyes were beginning to cross and he was getting irate with the whole situation. Castiel had only just disappeared to shave. He had been sitting across from Dean and scratching at his beard non-stop to the point where Dean got up, hunted down a razor and some shaving cream and pushed him into the bathroom. He actually kind of liked the beard but he hated it if it was only going to make Castiel fidget and fuss. Sometimes the angel was such a child.

Dean, pushed the book away from him and stood up. He yawned and leaned against the back of his chair, looking at his brother. “This is shit. I’m not getting anywhere. The only information I gleaned was that cults never work on such a large scale. Also, they’re usually a lot less…invisible.”

Sam looked up and with one hand rubbed at the bridge of his nose, the other hand ran up Tamara’s calf and she smiled at him before she returned to her reading. Dean stopped and watched the two. 

“Spill it. When did this…” he motioned to the pair on the sofa, “…happen?” He schooled his face to hide his smirk.

Sam blushed and Tamara glanced up at Dean. She studied his face for a moment like she was looking for something. With a nod, Tamara seemed to find what she was looking for and she said, “Awhile. Is it a problem, Dean?”

Dean smiled, his eyes softly crinkling at the edges. “No problem. Just weird. I mean, the last time we saw each other we weren’t exactly bff and all and I know you were hurting. Don't get me wrong, I’m glad to see that you’re okay.” He looked at his brother and said, “Both of you.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at Dean. “What happened in Purgatory?”

Dean blinked. “What do you mean? I told you, I don’t remember much at all.”

Sam only shook his head, disbelievingly. “I don’t know. You never talk about feelings. Did you finally get in touch with your feminine side?”

“This is him talking feelings?” Tamara asked Sam. Sam shrugged and gave her a little smile. She turned her attention back to Dean. “I mourned my husband but that was also a few years ago. I went back to England and healed. I kept hunting, though. Had to. I owed Isaac and Stephi that much.” She lowered her eyes at the mention of her daughter’s name. The whole reason she and Isaac became hunters in the first place. “Don’t get me wrong, Dean, I’ll never stop loving Isaac but even he would have wanted me to have a life and not curl up and die alone.”

Dean nodded. He understood. It was something their father never did, though. John never remarried, never settled and he kept on fighting until the end. Dean knew he’d probably do the same even if he understood the need that some people had to just move on. Sam could heal that way. He was doing so with Tamara. Dean was too much like his father. He’d go down alone and hurting with a gun in his hand and blood in his mouth.

“I met up with Tamara shortly after you and Cas disappeared. She’d been back in the States for a couple of years and I’m honestly surprised we hadn’t bumped into her sooner.” He smiled at Tamara and she reached over and took his hand. Sam glanced back at Dean and said, “I’m sure you can figure out the rest.”

Dean smiled. He was happy that Sam was happy. He needed someone and if it was a hunter then that was probably for the best. Tamara was a few years older than Sam but that really didn’t matter. They had both suffered from this life and they both understood the others' pain. Besides, it wasn’t like he was one to judge. He’d had his fair share of cougars. “Just stay safe,” Dean said to Tamara. “Sammy’s been through a lot too and I don’t want to have to fix him if he loses you. “

Sam looked at Dean in shock but he knew his words were true. Tamara only smiled. “Tell him the same thing. Don’t know if I’d deal too well with losing another man to this life.”

A silence fell on the three of them as they all thought of how this could end up messy and painful, but then Sam cleared his throat and said, “So, you and Cas?”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and he shook his head and pasted an ugly confused expression on his face. “What? No. What? What makes you say that?”

Sam snorted. “Well, the looks, the sighs, the fact that you were both naked when we found you. Of course, that was probably the spell. It did say something about rebirth and such. Real vague but probably th-”

Dean didn't hear his brother. He thought back to the way Castiel had pulled him close in the bed when he thought Dean was having a bad dream. The look Castiel had given him before they were called out to eat. There was something in his eyes that he wanted Dean to remember but… Nah.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said and crossed his arms over his chest.

Shaking his head, Sam said, “You’re kidding me, right? Dean, he was practically feeding you this morning. Something must have happened in Purgatory and, quite frankly, it’s about damn time. You two have danced around one another for years and if we hadn’t lost him the year before last I bet this would have happened sooner.”

Dean felt his anger begin to grow and spill over. Castiel had done some horrible shit before they lost him and then Dean had found him again and he was no longer Castiel. Then things really turned to Hell when Castiel took Sam’s damaged mind into his own and Dean knew he’d never have his friend back again. He’d accepted that Castiel was different, broken, crazy. But then Purgatory happened and he couldn’t remember any of that…well, at least nothing that seemed to matter. It was driving him mad and to have Sam say he and Castiel were…together? It was insane and he wished everyone would stop trying to…he honestly didn’t know what they were trying to do but it was really pissing him off.

Sam gently put his laptop on the floor before standing up and walking over to Dean. “Dude, calm down. I’m not saying you and Cas are now lovers or anything. I just thought you looked closer. Just-“ he broke off and looked around the room. “Is Cas still in the bathroom?”

Dean looked around, steadily ignoring everything his brother was saying until he asked where Castiel had disappeared to. He looked and with a sigh tromped over to the bathroom and knocked on the door. “Cas? You still in there? Didn’t cut your throat or anything?”

“Dean! Really?” Sam groaned.

There was no sound on the other side of the door but very slowly it opened. A blue eye glared at him through the opening and Dean fought the smile that wanted to take over his face. There was shaving cream everywhere on Castiel’s face. With a sigh, Dean pushed the door and bullied his way in before Castiel could complain. 

As the door shut, Sam looked at Tamara and said, “I thought he had already had the big gay crisis. I mean, when Dean thought Cas was dead he carried Cas’ overcoat from car to car every time we stole another. If that isn’t love then…I just don’t know.” He took his seat again next to Tamara and she put her book down to curl up next to him. Sam sighed contentedly and leaned in to kiss Tamara. He wouldn’t say he loved her…not yet, but he definitely cared a lot about her and it didn’t matter if she was older. They were the same and she was human and she knew of the hunter life. Sam couldn’t ask for more. 

A loud thump sounded against the bathroom door and Sam and Tamara snickered as they could only imagine what the other two were doing.

~*~

Dean pushed Castiel into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He groaned and ran a hand over his face to hide his smile. Castiel looked so sad and lost and hysterical. “Cas? What are you trying to do?”

Castiel’s bright blue eyes narrowed as he glared at Dean. “I was trying to shave off this beard but then that can of shaving cream…I didn’t expect so much to come out at once and I didn’t want to waste it so-“ he ranted, hands waving around and only just missing Dean.

“So, you decided you would cover yourself and part of the sink in shaving cream? Why didn’t you just ask me for help? I just assumed-“

“You just assumed that I would automatically know what I’m doing because I’ve observed humans for thousands of years?” Dean nodded his head. “Seeing and doing are two different things, Dean.”

“Why didn’t you just mojo it off?” Dean asked, coming up to Castiel and grabbing a towel. He began to wipe away the excess cream.

Castiel grabbed at Dean’s wrist with a shaving cream smeared hand effectively stopping Dean's movements. He glared into Dean's eyes. “I don’t know if I’m still allowed in Heaven and I’m not quite ready to try. If I’m cut off I’ve only got so much Grace before it will run out and I will be human. I won’t waste it on hair removal.”

Dean nodded in understanding then glanced at the hand holding his wrist and Castiel let go. Dean closed the space between them and as he did Castiel took a step backwards and banged his body against the bathroom door. Dean winced. “Dude, I just want to clean that off. I’m going to show you what to do.”

Castiel glanced at the towel and then at Dean and nodded. Silently, Dean moved closer to the angel and began to slowly wipe the excess shaving cream off his face. It was on the bridge of Castiel’s nose, up by his eyebrows where a swath was spread across his forehead. Dean was even sure some had gotten in his hair and down the neck of his t-shirt but he refused to comment. Castiel already looked like he was ready to curl up in a corner and die from embarrassment. When Dean finished he moved Castiel closer to the sink. The bathroom wasn’t all that big so Dean had to get within Castiel’s personal space. Dean threw the messy towel in the hamper and grabbed another. He draped it over Castiel’s chest and turned to pull a small pair of scissors out of the medicine cabinet. He showed them to Castiel.

“Right now your beard is too thick. I’ll have to cut it back some or the razor won’t work,” he said. Castiel nodded and Dean began to trim away the excess hair. As he worked, Castiel’s eyes were intent on Dean’s face watching him. Soon the beard was down to a manageable length. Dean ran his hand over Castiel’s face to remove the loose bits of hair. Castiel leaned into his touch and Dean pulled back. Dean ignored the look of hurt in Castiel’s eyes as he took the can of cream and put a small amount in his palm. 

Castiel stopped him before he could put it on. “How is it that you do not have a beard?” 

Dean paused and rubbed his free hand over his face. It was stubbly, as usual, but it wasn’t longer than that. He shrugged. “Don’t know. That’s weird, though. Maybe I had a knife?” he asked, trying to see if he could prompt any information out of Castiel. He knew the angel remembered more if not everything of their time in Purgatory. 

Castiel sighed and looked away, giving Dean nothing. Dean really wished he could remember.

Slowly, Dean began to put the shaving cream on Castiel’s beard and the angel’s eyes began to close as he worked. Then he filled the sink with hot water and dipped the razor into it before bringing it up to Castiel’s face. It was odd shaving another face. He’d never done this before. Not like this. Teaching Sammy had been more instructional and less hands-on. A part of him screamed that it was just plain weird, another part sighed with contentment that he was able to help Castiel in any small way. Dean was built to help others. It made him feel almost Zen-like to do so. Helping Castiel shave was just calming and after the turmoil of the past day it was something he needed to do. As Dean’s hands gently held skin taught so he could slide the razor across it, Castiel would lean into his touch. Dean didn’t pull away this time. Perhaps they both needed this. The physical contact. One time, Dean remembered, Sam had told him about this article he’d read about the healing power of touch. There were these babies that would die in orphanages because no one touched them other than to perform basic care. Humans needed touch. Craved it. Apparently, so did angels.

Too soon, he finished and cleaned Castiel’s face of all the leftover bits of shaving cream and loose hair. He positioned Castiel in front of the mirror and smiled at him. “Back to your pretty self,” he smirked, his hands gently squeezing Castiel’s shoulders. “You should shower, though. You’ve got shaving cream in your hair and all those loose whiskers will start to itch.”

Castiel ran his hand over his now smooth face and quickly turned to face Dean. They were very close and Dean could feel Castiel’s breath brush over his mouth. Castiel grabbed the back of Dean’s neck and pushed their foreheads together. “You still remember nothing of what happened,” Castiel whispered and Dean felt his heart hurt because he only wished he could tell Castiel that he did remember. "The human brain is so fragile. It will catch up. Eventually." Castiel sighed and said, “Thank you, Dean. I’ll take a shower.” He reached up and kissed Dean’s forehead before gently pushing him out of the bathroom.

Dean leaned against the bathroom door after Castiel shut it. He heard the lock click into place. Sam looked up at him with a smile that quickly faded. “You okay, Dean?”

Dean blinked in confusion. Then he began to get pissed because he was even more confused and he just knew that the secret to all this between him and Castiel had to do with his memories. He clenched his hands into fists and stormed off toward the bedroom. “Everything’s peachy,” he ground out through clenched teeth.

Sam glanced at Tamara and they both shrugged before turning back to their research.

~*~

Dean paced back and forth within the small bedroom. This meant he walked in a loop around the bed and back to the other side. He was angry. He was tired and, most of all, he was sick of not being able to remember. Something had to be wrong with him that he couldn’t remember a year of his life. He could remember flashes, brief moments but even they weren’t that clear. He remembered Benny. He remembered fighting and he remembered finding Castiel. Dean focused on that last memory. He focused on the image of his best friend squat down by the water’s edge and he remembered the emotions that flowed through him at the sight. He wasn’t going to lose Castiel again. Too much had happened in the real world, too much pain and betrayal sat thick between them and Castiel had paid dearly for it. At least, Dean thought so. He had fixed Sammy and in return had gone mad. There were a lot of things Dean could never forgive Castiel for doing but when he had fixed his little brother none of the rest mattered. Sam was all Dean had and Castiel had given Sam back his mind, Lucifer free.

Sammy was Dean’s world. Had been since they were small and Dean had carried his tiny brother to safety. Castiel had saved Sam from a destroyed psyche and in that action he also earned his place back within the family. Dean knew Castiel had never –at least in his mind- been excluded from the family but Dean had been hurt by the lies and deals. It still burned him to think that Castiel felt he couldn’t turn to him. It didn’t matter that he was with Lisa at the time, he would have done everything he could to help Castiel.

Dean stopped pacing and stared at the wall before him. He would have done anything to help Castiel. He would have left Lisa if Castiel had asked him to. He did for Sam. That struck Dean as something very important. Something he should consider. Castiel could have made Dean leave the apple-pie life in a heartbeat. No matter how much he cared for Lisa and Ben, he was bored. He had never dreamed of that world as something he could have so he thought it was impossible. The reality of it all was that he never dreamed of that world as something he wanted; he had only assumed it was something that was out of his reach. He was a hunter. It was in his blood. He was made to protect people. He was a survivor and he was a fighter. He was most certainly not a husband. Backyard barbeques and evenings watching television are nice but they aren’t something he could do daily. He needed to stop monsters. He needed to research and do leg-work and deal with the horrors that the rest of the world were blinded from seeing. It was who he was born to be and he would have jumped at the opportunity to return if only he’d been given the temptation to do so.

With a sigh, Dean turned to the bed and collapsed on his side. He stared off into space as his mind continued to go over the facts.

Castiel had left him as soon as they got to Purgatory. He was on his own, fighting for his life, looking for Castiel. He was angry and hurt and he had convinced himself that Castiel had been taken from him. He remembered this much. He remembered fighting monsters. He remembered growling into their faces, ‘Where’s the angel?’ right before killing them. He remembered almost losing it to a monster and Benny saving him. He also remembered the deal Benny had offered him and his counter deal of Benny helping to find Castiel.

They found him and…

His memories were choppy from that part on. 

Dean felt his eyes droop and he yawned. He was exhausted and he just didn’t want to think anymore. He couldn’t remember anymore and his head was starting to hurt. He reached over and pulled the blanket over his body and closed his eyes. He would just lay here until Castiel got out of the shower and hope there was still some hot water. Maybe there was some pie in the fridge. That would be…

_…fan-fucking-tastic! Dean thought as he was slammed against a thick tree trunk. His head hit the wood hard and bounced forward. Where the Hell was Benny? He and Castiel were supposed to be keeping watch so he could get some sleep. He hadn’t even wanted to stop but the other two were insistent since he kept stumbling over his own feet with exhaustion._

_The vampire had snuck up on him and even though Dean was a light sleeper, he still managed to get beat to shit and thrown against a tree. Dean had lost his weapon when he was tossed so he was now searching around his feet for a felled branch or something to use as a weapon as the vampire moved in. Realizing he was beat, Dean closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable. He had nothing to fight with and no way to overpower something like this when he was so exhausted. He braced himself but nothing happened. He snuck an eye open to see a hand appear on the top of the vampire’s head, a look of shock and terror on the vamp’s face before it filled with light and Dean had to slam his eyes shut once more. The creature died, painfully and Castiel pushed it to the side, holding out a hand for Dean._

_Taking Castiel’s hand, Dean said, “Dude! That was close. Where the Hell were you?” Castiel looked away and Dean yanked his hand back. “You were leaving? Again?”_

_“Dean, I’m a danger to you,” Castiel said, refusing to look at Dean as he spoke._

_Dean pushed past him and began to gather his handmade weapons. “Bullshit, Cas! You know what I went through to find you in this shit-hole. I’m not going to lose you again. We’re in it together. Just like always,” he turned to look at the angel. “Just like it should’ve always been.” He narrowed his eyes and glared for a moment before he sat down on a fallen tree._

_Castiel only stood near the corpse of the vampire, eyeing it blandly. He was silent and Dean couldn’t bear it any longer. “Cas, don’t you understand that I need you? We’re shit alone. When we get back and we have Sam with us, we’re unstoppable. Why do you think I would willingly leave you behind?”_

_Castiel turned slowly and pierced him with those blue eyes. “After everything I did you still want me around? I don’t understand, Dean. I cannot comprehend your thought process. If I were you I’d hate me.”_

_“I did,” Dean said, looking away._

_Nodding, Castiel moved closer, his own face turned down. “And now you do not?”_

_Dean shrugged. “You fixed Sam. You helped me gank Dick. No matter what you did, even if it was shit and you should have come to me first, you did it for me.” He shook his head. “Not like that makes any sense.” Dean shifted uncomfortably on the log as Castiel came closer still._

_“You two lovebirds still fightin'? Wish you’d just fuck and get it over with,” Benny shouted as he entered the clearing. He glanced at the dead vampire and said, “Looks like I missed the party, eh boys?”_

_Castiel glared at him and Dean refused to look at either of them. Dean could feel a frustrated growl rise in his throat…_

_…as the two argued. They were trudging up the side of a steep hill and Dean was tired of listening to the bickering. All right, maybe they weren’t bickering but Benny was definitely angling at something that Castiel seemed to easily skirt. The conversation was going in circles and Dean just wanted to knock them both in the back of the head just so they would shut up._

_“Look. All I’m sayin' is that when you love someone you do stupid shit,” Benny explained. “At the time, it always seems like the right thing to do but in the end you realize that it was stupid but at that point it's always too late.” He stopped and looked off into the distance. It could have been mistaken as Benny trying to assess their location but Dean could see the wistful look of someone speaking from experience and lost in those memories._

_Castiel looked at him and ran a hand through his hair. “Sometimes you have to be rational. Even illogical steps sound logical when you’re blinded by emotion.”_

_Benny’s face cleared as he looked back at Castiel. “Like an angel understands emotion.”_

_“Dude, that was not cool.” Dean climbed up the small incline to reach the pair. He stood between them, his hands hovering just short of touching their chests. “Cas, Benny’s right. Sometimes you do stupid shit when you’re in love.” He turned to look at Benny, “Not all angels are cold hearted dicks. Cas has come a long way from when I first met him and…” he looked back to Castiel. The angel’s blue eyes held his and he wanted to say something profound. A surge of emotion struck him hard against his chest and he had to take a deep breath to push it back down. Benny cleared his throat and Dean blinked, breaking the spell. He smirked, to cover the moment and said, “You should have met his brothers. They were all emotionless dicks. Well, except Gabriel but he was a twisted little fucker.” Castiel’s lips curled up, slightly and Dean smiled. “Don’t even get me started on Balthazar.” Dean smiled again but Castiel’s face seemed to grow sad and he glanced away._

_Benny sighed, loudly. “So, you’re saying that based on his family, he can’t help but be a stone. However, he can be taught,” he said._

_Dean furrowed his brow as he tried to regain Castiel’s gaze. The angel relented, looking at Dean and sighing. Dean nodded and replied, “Yeah. He can be taught.”_

_Shaking his head, Benny began to walk off, leaving the pair behind, mumbling something to himself about being in love making you stupid enough to get between two supernatural beings. Dean ignored him._

_“Can I really be taught, Dean?” Castiel asked, taking a step closer to Dean. The sadness was still written on his face but Dean had come to realize that Castiel would always carry the guilt and sorrow of his past. Same as Dean would always carry his around. It was just a part of who they were._

_Dean nodded. “You’ve already learned a lot, Cas.”_

_Castiel lowered his eyes, breaking their gazing contest. “Sometimes I feel like I haven’t learned enough. Sometimes I still feel like a colt, stumbling about on new legs.”_

_Dean had to clear his throat as he blinked and looked down to see that his hand was still, in fact, resting on the angel’s chest. He slowly pulled it back to his body and whispered, “We all feel like that, Cas. It’s how we grow. No one has all the answers. No one said life was going to be easy and it sure as shit doesn’t come with a user’s manual.”_

_The small tug of a smile returned to Castiel’s face as he said, “Good to know I’m not alone.” His words filled Dean with such confusion at what Castiel meant that_ he _suddenly felt like the stumbling colt._

_“Are you two coming or do I need to disappear for an hour?” Benny shouted back at them from above._

_Dean cleared his throat and Castiel looked up the hill at Benny. Silently, they continued their way up after the vampire. Dean’s heart thumping madly in his…_

_...chest. Hot hands on his chest pushing away his filthy shirt and exposing the warm flesh underneath. He was shaking with need as those hands brushed and mapped out his skin and a hot mouth sucked at his neck. He pushed up against the heated body before him; knocking them into the wall of the cave they had taken shelter in during the storm. Benny was just outside so they fought to keep their voices down._

_“Dean,” Castiel whispered against his skin._

_“Cas?” Dean replied, his own hands tangling in the angel’s hair._

_“I’m sorry. I'm so sorry,” Castiel said before claiming Dean’s mouth._

_Dean pulled away from the kiss long enough to whisper, “I know. Me too.” Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him impossibly close, burying his face in Dean's neck. Dean could feel Castiel tremble, his shoulders shake. "Shhhh, Cas. I got you. It's all right."_

_Castiel made a small head shake. "No it's not. I did this. I brought all this on you."_

_Dean traced his hand over Castiel's face, touching his soft beard and lifting his chin so that he could look into the angel's eyes. "No. You may have done a lot but you didn't do this. I'm the one that wanted you with me when we took down Dick. I'm the one that took you away from the life you had with..." He couldn't say her name. It still hurt to know that without his memories of Dean, Castiel could move on and actually have a life and a wife. Well, except for the demons that had found him. At least Dean couldn't feel pain for saving the dude's life._

_"Dean, that wasn't me. You know that wasn't me. I couldn't remember. I could never leave you. I-"_

_Dean shut him up by kissing him, fiercely. He couldn't listen to Castiel apologize any longer. It was all too much. If he kept kissing Cas then maybe he would shut the fuck up about everything that can't be changed, things that can't be fixed. Castiel seemed to understand Dean's actions as the two melted into one another..._

Dean woke with a start. He immediately reached a hand up to touch his mouth and an arm wrapped around him and pulled him close. “It’s just a dream, Dean,” Castiel whispered into his hair. 

Dean’s eyes grew large and the room spun slightly as the memories hit him. The dream had unlocked his time in Purgatory and he remembered everything. He and Castiel were…together. A small part of him wanted to freak the fuck out but a larger part of him told the smaller part to get over itself. Dean turned to face Castiel. The angel was warm and he smelled fresh from the shower. His hair was dry so Dean must have been sleeping for awhile. He looked into Castiel’s fathomless blue eyes and whispered, “I remember.”

Castiel’s lips curled slightly at the edges and his eyes smiled brightly. He leaned in and kissed Dean and Dean didn’t fight it. He kissed back as even more memories joined the ones he had recovered. They were lovers. It wasn’t perfect. They still fought and they still found the other frustrating as Hell but they were together and it made Dean happier than he could have imagined. This was right. It made sense. He belonged to this angel, the one that had marked him as his own when he pulled him from Hell. Castiel had held his soul, rebuilt his body and had protected him all the years they had known one another. Just as he had protected Castiel when he had been human and when he had been lost. The feelings that rushed him were the exact feelings he didn’t have but wished he could have had with Lisa. Not even his time with Cassie had filled him with what he felt now. It was nameless and he never wanted it to end.

He pulled away from the kiss that had been growing steadily more heated. Castiel growled in the back of his throat at the loss. Dean chuckled at that as he looked at his angel. “Just so you know, this doesn’t mean I’m gay.”

Castiel laughed. Actually laughed. “I know, Dean. You said that in Purgatory as well.”

Dean touched Castiel’s lips with the tips of his fingers, trying to map that smile, to memorize it. “I know, Cas. I remember.”


	2. Two's Company

**Two’s Company**

“Where is he?” Crowley demanded, his fists clenched together as he leaned over his desk to glare at the lesser demon before him. “I sent him on a simple mission and now you’re telling me he’s gone? How can a demon just disappear? For your sake, you had better hope he isn’t dead.”

The lesser demon cowed to the King of Hell. “Sir, I’m not sure. He isn’t the only one, though. Whole sectors are gone. We don’t believe they’re dead. There aren’t that many hunters up there capable of such a massacre.”

“Whole sectors are missing?” Crowley slammed his fist and stood up to pace. He turned to growl at the demon. “Whole bloody sectors? When were you planning on notifying me? Did you think that I wouldn’t eventually notice that honking great chunks of the demon population were going missing?” 

“N-no sir, we knew you’d notice. We were just hoping to have answers for you before we troubled you with the situation,” the demon said, pleadingly as it tried to move away from Crowley.

“I’m assuming there are still no answers and now my pet is amongst the missing,” he growled. This was not good. He needed the boy. His plan could not go as it needed to if the child-demon was missing. He still had so much to do before he could begin to work on the actual takeover of the three realms. He couldn’t do this without the boy. He didn’t have time for incompetence. 

Crowley glared at the lesser demon. He lifted his hand and the demon cried out, "Please, Lord Crowley! Please, I'll find them."

Pausing, Crowley cocked his head slightly. "Lord Crowley? I like the sound of that." He smirked and swished his hand and the demon turned to black smoke before him. He had no time for incompetence.

He stepped out of his office and approached his secretary. “Darla, I need you to do some research for me. Find out what is happening up on Earth and why my demons are disappearing. Obviously, my so-called intelligence group are useless so I’m going to rely on you to get me all the answers.”

The busty blonde smiled up at Crowley with red lips and pointy teeth. “Yes, Mr. Crowley, sir. I’ll get right on it.”

“Good,” Crowley hissed. Darla was efficient if anything. Not his type, mind you, though she did try to flirt with him. Even if he was partial to her, her voice alone was enough to make him want to rip his ears off. However, she was good at her job and if she thought she could seduce him as well, he’d just allow it for the sake of good business. He really wasn’t into those types of office relationships but if it made her work that much harder the better for him. “I’m heading out. Got to see if I can find my new pet, so cancel all my appointments.” He was about to leave when he paused. “Oh, and Darla?”

“Yes, sir?”

“See if you can locate Ajay. I'll need his expertise,” he said with a sick smile.

Darla returned his smile. “Yes, Mr. Crowley, sir.”

~*~

"What was the address, again?" Dean asked, irritated and sore. He'd slept horribly the night before and he hadn't had a single ounce of caffeine that morning. He and Sam were looking into another case of missing children. They were in a small town off the Blue Ridge Parkway in North Carolina. It was picturesque but rather isolated, surrounded by mountains and tucked neatly into the valley. Dean was glad for the summer heat because he would have hated to have gotten snowed into this little burg. This time the missing children were taken from a slumber party. Eight kids at the party and three were taken while they all slept. Whoever was doing this really had a huge set of balls. 

Sam glanced at his phone and said, "That one. Forty-two Blue Jay Way." 

Tamara and Castiel had gone off to investigate another nearby disappearance in the city of Asheville so they had separated the day before. Tamara and Castiel weren't the best fake FBI agents what with Tamara's British dialect and Castiel being a smitey version of Columbo, it was probably best if they did their own thing. That was fine. It made sense. However, Dean quickly discovered that he couldn't sleep for shit without the angel tucked up behind him or curled around him with his face pushed into Dean's neck. Castiel didn't need to sleep but he chose to do so with Dean. He said that he enjoyed the closeness and Dean liked the feeling of being protected. Or maybe he just liked the closeness as well. Or the skin. Probably the skin. Definitely the sex. 

He had to shake those mental images away before he thought on that subject for too long. Wouldn't do to have to hide an erection while investigating a slumber party. That would definitely be hard to explain.

Dean pulled the car up to the front of the house and was about to exit it when his phone buzzed to life. He smiled at the caller I.D. "S'up Cas?"

_"Hello, Dean. Tamara thought I should call you to tell you our investigation seems to have met another dead end. We have a few more places she wants to look into but I hold no hope."_

"That's the spirit, Cas. Well, we just got to our site. I'll give you a ring when we know anything."

_"Okay, Dean."_ Castiel paused. _"I missed you last night."_

Dean smiled. "I know buddy, me too."

_"Goodbye, Dean. I'll see you tonight."_

"Bye, Cas and...please don't be long."

He hung up the phone and as he tucked it into his pocket he noted the stupid smile on his brother's face. 

"Bitch."

"Jerk," Sam said, laughing out the word.

They walked up to the simple white house with grey shutters. It had a wrap-around porch and a wooden bench swing hanging from the awning. The yard was immaculate and it reminded him of the house he had found Castiel in when he was Emmanuel. Of course, it was nothing like that house but most houses in suburbia seemed to remind him of that one. 

The door opened shortly after Sam rang the bell and a tired looking gentleman answered, clutching a young boy to his side. The boy, more like young teen, didn't look all that pleased to be held so close. 

"Mr. Harolds? I'm Agent Wright and this is my partner, Agent Mason. We're here to ask you a few questions concerning the disappearances that occurred here two days ago," Dean said, holding his fake badge up for the man to see as he noted the eye roll from the teen.

"Dad talked to a couple of you guys yesterday," the teen said but his father hushed him.

"Danny, don't be rude to the gentlemen," he said before opening the door wider for Sam and Dean to enter.

"That's all right, " said Sam. "We often send multiple sets of investigators to ask questions. Especially on a case that may have links to what is going on around the country."

"Around the world," Danny corrected.

Dean looked at the boy, not fully understanding. 

With another eye-roll the kid said, "This morning there was a report on _BBC World News_ about kids missing in England and Germany. What? Mom watches it in the morning." 

Dean liked this kid. The little shit. "Danny, can you show me where you guys were sleeping that night while Agent Mason talks to your dad."

The kid looked at his dad and when Mr. Harolds nodded Danny motioned for Dean to follow him. Danny glanced at Sam for a moment, unsure of something but he shook his head and led Dean to the basement.

As they descended the stairs, Dean saw a typical half finished basement with wall to wall carpeting and old lumpy sofas. It was a teen paradise. Or at least, it would have been Dean's idea of paradise when he was a teen. There were classic rock posters all over and a huge collection of albums on a shelf along the wall. A large flat screen television hung from another wall with a few different gaming systems underneath. Hell, it was Dean's idea of paradise right now. All it needed was a...

"Dude! Mini fridge? Awesome!" Dean said, smiling at the room.

"So, I'm right. You aren't really FBI," Danny said, looking uncomfortable and frightened. "Please, just don't hurt my dad, okay."

Dean blinked. "What makes you think we aren't FBI?"

Danny shrugged and motioned to the albums. "Nick Mason, Rick Wright? Pink Floyd. I'm just glad you didn't say Waters and Gilmore. That would've been really obvious." Even in the face of possible danger, the teen couldn't suppress an eyeroll.

Dean couldn't stop the smirk. "Smart kid. Like classic rock? The Floyd are awesome. Not my favorite. I'm all about Zeppelin but I can certainly dig The Wall."

Danny snorted. "Dude, that's so cliche. _Animals_ and _Atom Heart Mother_ are hands down the best Floyd. Of course, nothing compares to _Piper at the Gates of Dawn_ or even _Saucerful of_...shit. Really, I'm talking Floyd with the guy who'll probably be killing me."

Shaking his head, Dean held up his hands. "Not here to kill you. We're the good guys." He moved over to sit down on one of the sofas and motioned for Danny to sit down as well. "We're here to help. We want to know what happened that night and see if there is some way we can help get your friends back to their families and stop whoever is taking kids."

Danny stood still for a moment, absorbing Dean's words. He seemed to come to a conclusion and moved to sit. "Fine. Tell me your real name first." 

"Dean. That's my brother up with your dad. His name is Sam."

Danny seemed to find relief in that so he said, "What do you want to know?"

Dean smiled softly. "Tell me what happened the other night."

"Fine. Well, it was me and a few guys from my baseball team were just going to crash here. We do that sometimes 'cus my basement is obviously made of awesome. We stayed up watching Army of Darkness and then a few of us played GTA4 for a few hours. Nothing we haven't done before," he said with a shrug.

"Did you see anything odd or maybe some weird smells? Like eggs or something?" Dean asked.

Danny thought for a moment. "Well, Brandon brought his friend with him. Older kid. I'd never met him before. He-" Danny broke off snickering.

Dean felt his lips tug into another smile. "What?"

"Dude, the guy had the worst gas! Silent but deadly. It was horrible but none of us said anything because he was like four or five years older and we didn't want to get our asses kicked." Danny suddenly looked sad and uncomfortable.

Dean flipped through his notebook. "Brandon Slayter? He's one of the missing boys."

Danny nodded, silently. "So's his friend. Both of them and Charlie were gone."

"You guys just crashed then. When did you notice the other guys were missing?" Dean asked.

"Well, I woke up around 4am to pee. I saw their sleeping bags were empty. I thought maybe they were upstairs raiding the kitchen. I ran up and they weren't there. They wouldn't have just left. They wouldn't do that. So, I woke my dad and asked if he knew. That dude didn't have a car with him and we aren't even sure how he knew Brandon. Hell, none of us even knew his last name. The cops think he may have something to do with it and they told dad that this may not be related to the other kids going missing because we have a suspect. I don't know. What if he was taken too? I just don't know." Danny seemed to run out of steam. He took a deep breath and said, "After that...well it got crazy here." He wrapped his arms over his chest and shivered. "Dad's freaked. Won't let me out of his site. I'm surprised he's let me down here with you."

"I think the title FBI instills a bit of security in your dad's eyes." Dean stood up and stretched. "Danny, one more thing. Can you tell me what this guy looked like? The older one. What was his name? Maybe we can help find a family that he belongs to and see if he's missing or a suspect."

Danny nodded. "He had blue eyes and he was tall, thin. His name was Adam."

Dean felt his breath hitch but he quickly dismissed it. He always reacted that way to that name.

Clapping a hand on the boy's shoulder, he said, "Thanks, Danny. I really appreciate your help." He gave the kid a card and said, "If you think of anything or you need help, just call me. This is the type of thing my brother and I deal with so nothing is too weird for us."

Danny looked at the card, his finger tracing the word Winchester. "Thanks, Dean."

~*~

"Demons," Dean said around a mouthful of bacon cheeseburger.

Castiel winced at the disgusting sight but still asked, "Demons?"

Sam sighed, "Dude, chew your food."

Dean, glaring at his brother, made a point of chewing his mouthful forever before finally swallowing it, taking a pull off his beer and then looking at Castiel with an innocent smile. "Demons. The kid said there was an older boy that no one knew and that he kept farting rotten eggs."

Castiel crinkled his brow in confusion but Sam snorted and Tamara rolled her eyes. 

"So, the demon is pretending to be friends with a bunch of fifteen year olds just to kidnap them? Seems like a lot of work for a demon," Tamara commented, munching on a French fry.

"Not really," Castiel said, "sometimes the demons like to play the long game. Think of the way Meg has always toyed with the both of you." He motioned to Sam and Dean before popping a fry into his own mouth.

He may not have to eat but Castiel really liked burgers and fries.

"So, do you think we should look for some demons and question them?" Tamara asked, looking at the three men.

Dean nodded. "Yeah. It's a start. We can-" He broke off as Sam held up a hand and made a call.

Lowering his hand, Sam said into the phone, "Hey Garth!" Dean felt his face crumple in confusion. "Yeah, I was wondering if you knew of any demon sightings? We're looking for a- Yeah, we did. It worke- No, I'm sorry. I- I didn't think- I'm-"

The broken conversation went on like this until Sam finally got louder. "Garth! Listen! We need help. Are there any demon sightings we should check out? It doesn't matter where. We're working on something and we need a-" Sam paused as he listened. "Great! Thanks! I'll let him know." He hung up with a weary sigh.

"What the Hell was that about?" Dean asked. "Please tell me you weren't talking to the Garth I'm thinking of."

"If you're thinking of Garth Fitzgerald IV, then yeah. He started contacting us with jobs about a month or so after Tamara and I started working together. Garth has sorta..." Sam trailed off looking at Tamara for help.

Tamara rolled her eyes. She looked at Dean and said, "He's picking up Bobby's work. Directing Hunters and basically keeping us in line." She lifted a hand to stop Dean's incoming argument before it could even begin. "Before you start, he's doing a fine job. He's not Bobby. He knows he isn't Bobby. What he does know is that we need the hub Bobby provided and Garth is good at keeping up the farce. He's organized and knows enough to back us when we need help. Also," she turned and glared at Sam, "someone must have forgotten to tell him you've been back for bit."

Sam ducked his head, sheepishly. "Yeah."

"I'm guessing he's not pleased with you," she said, tossing a fry at Sam.

Sam nodded and smiled at Tamara, shyly. "I was...preoccupied."

"Uh huh," she said, turning her attention back to Dean. "So, don't give Garth any of your shit."

Dean blinked. Shocked at how quickly Tamara could direct her focus from being annoyed at Sam and then calling Dean out. "Yes, ma'am."

Tamara seemed satisfied by that and turned back to Sam. "So, love. Where are we heading now?"

~*~

They arrived at the warehouse the next day. It is always an abandoned warehouse. It was so cliché that it hurt. They parked the Impala off the road and loaded up their weapons. The warehouse was set up on a hill with a forest of trees surrounding it. The dirt road that led up to it was unkempt and crumbling so Dean was pleased to not have to drive his baby up to it. Sam said it was because she made too much noise. She didn't make noise. She purred.

No one else agreed with him.

With weapons and supplies, they trekked up the hill through the woods and hid on its edge to scope out the building. 

"There are three inside and two outside. There aren't any angel wards that I can feel," Castiel said, looking at the building as though he could see through it. He probably could, Dean thought. He probably had x-ray vision.

"Cas, do you have x-ray vision?" Dean asked, but Sam knocked him in the arm. "What?"

"Time and place, Dean," Sam chided.

"I just wanted to know. In case Cas is a peeping perv and likes to watch me in the shower," Dean retaliated, pulling out the demon knife and double checking his salt rounds.

Sam only rolled his eyes and Cas said, "I do not watch you in the shower. That would be counterproductive and silly. I'd much rather just join you in the shower. I watch you while you sleep."

"O-kay," Sam said, grabbing his gear. "Tamara and I will take the two outside."

Dean was still staring at Castiel and smirked. For some reason the idea of being watched, protected, in his sleep made him happy. Though, at one time it would have creeped him the hell out. He pulled his attention back to the present. They had work to do and couldn't afford to get lost in fantasy. "Yeah, me and Castiel, Creeper of the Lord, will take the three inside," he said as he turned back to Sam. "Let's go."

They took off, splitting up as they drew closer to the doors. Sam and Tamara disappeared around the corner and Castiel and Dean skirted the building to locate an out of the way entrance. They came to a busted cargo entryway and squeezed inside. It was dark and Dean had to take a moment to let his eyes adjust. Castiel had no such issues and immediately began to move further into the building. They needed to keep at least one of the demons alive. The rest were fodder. As they slowly made their way through the halls, Dean would pop his head inside various rooms they would pass. They came to an office and Dean went inside. There was a PA system and Dean had an idea. 

"Cas, can you tell if this place has working electricity?" Dean asked when Castiel caught up with him.

"Yes. It does. Why do you ask?" the angel replied, cocking his head with interest.

"Well, do you think you can catch one of the demons on your own while I set this up? Put a binding sigil on it so it can't leave its vessel?" he asked, dropping his weapons on the counter and pulling the microphone of the PA system up onto a nearby desk.

 

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "I can do that." He seemed to suddenly understand Dean's intent and disappeared in hush of feathers. Dean smiled at the sound as his hands quickly began to turn the PA on and make sure it was working in the rest of the warehouse. He would only know if the other speakers were working properly if he went out and checked every one but they didn't have time. Instead, he began to draw a devil's trap onto the floor, waiting for the angel to return. 

When he did return, it was with a struggling blonde demon that looked fit to be tied. Especially when she realized she was trapped. Castiel grabbed her arm for a brief moment and the demon screamed in pain. He let her go and stepped outside the trap. He nodded to Dean. Dean flipped on the PA system and began to chant the Latin of the exorcism he'd memorized forever ago.

The blonde began to scream again but she couldn't leave her vessel. The sigil Castiel had burned onto her arm held her tight while the cries of the others could be heard echoing throughout the empty warehouse. Shortly after he was finished, Sam and Tamara came rushing in. "Dude, that was brilliant!" Sam said, smiling at his brother.

Dean nodded, "Yeah, sometimes I manage to get those two brain cells I've got left up there to produce something awesome."

Sam smacked him in the shoulder and Castiel glared. "You have more than two brain cells. You are not stupid, Dean."

"Ignore him, Cas," Sam said, securing the office with even more sigils. "He's just fishing for compliments."

Castiel held his glare on Dean while Dean smiled beatifically at the angel. "You love it."

Castiel closed his eyes in frustration and turned to face the demon. The blonde was crumpled in on herself in the middle of the trap. Even though she couldn't leave her vessel, that didn't mean the exorcism hadn't hurt.

"What do you know about the missing children?" Castiel asked, no longer waiting on the others.

"Like I'd tell you. I'd rather die."

Dean lifted the demon knife off the counter and said, "That could be arranged."

The blonde smirked. "Do it. You'll get nothing from me."

"I hate it when they're difficult," Tamara said, pushing past the men and ripping the knife from Dean's hand. She reached into the trap and grabbed the blonde by her hair. "Listen, bitch. I'm not afraid to hit a...whatever you think you are. This lot? They're all gentlemanly and like to think they're chivalrous. Me? I've watched your kind destroy my family. I have no love. I certainly have no qualms with carving you up nice and slowly until you beg me to let you speak. I may not have Dean's experiences," she said and didn't see Dean shoot a look to Sam, "but I have years of pent up anger that I'll be more than willing to take out on your sorry hide. Now, tell us anything you know about the missing children."

The blonde began to laugh and Tamara pushed the demon back and straddled her. She was only able to because of how weak it was from the exorcism. Slowly, and with a vicious smile on her face, she began to run the blade over the demon's neck, leaving small trails of blood. "You will tell me where those children are. You will do it or I will make sure you live a long and horrible existence. You think Hell is bad? You haven't met a person with nothing left to lose. Your kind are taking kids from their families, the same way you took my baby from me!" She moved the knife down to the demon's shoulder where she pushed the blade into the meat of her arm. It wouldn't kill but it would definitely hurt. She was rewarded by the demon's screams.

Sam had a look of horror on his face. He'd never seen this side of Tamara and it scared him to think she still had so much pain inside her to be capable of this kind of torture. Dean's face held a mixture of shock and respect. Castiel's face was not readable.

"Tell me!" Tamara demanded, her voice low and dangerous. She twisted the knife and leaned into it. The demon cried out but still said nothing. Tamara pulled the knife out and raised it high with the intention of driving it into another soft spot on the demon.

"Crowley! We're looking for something he lost," the demon said, eyes wide and full of fear. This was obviously one of the weaker ones as all of the hunters in the room had usually had to fight harder to get information from some other demons. Before it could say more, the demon screamed out and then made a choking sound as black smoke poured from its mouth before it crumpled to the floor.

Sam grabbed Tamara. "What did you do?"

She looked at him, confused, dropping the blade. "Nothing. I- You saw what I did. I didn't kill it." 

Castiel knelt down beside the empty vessel and lifted its arm. The sigil had been burned away.

"No, that would be me." 

They all turned to see the King of Hell himself sitting at the desk with his feet up. He was holding the microphone to the PA system and tapping it with is finger. Popping noises could be heard echoing all over the warehouse. "Why let a peon tell you what you need to hear when you can get it from the horse's mouth?" he placed the microphone down and smiled at the four hunters.

"What did you lose?" Castiel asked, not bothering with any preamble.

Crowley steepled his fingers under his chin and said, "Hullo, Cas. So nice to see you back and not crazy."

"Answer the question, Crowley. What did you lose and what do you know about the missing kids?" Dean said as he rubbed a hand over his face.

Crowley shrugged. "Fine. There is a cult that is trying to raise an Eldritch God. Not sure which one. I don't care. They've been working on this for quite some time. They're actually at the final stages. The part where they are gathering the sacrifice."

"The kids," Sam said, holding Tamara close. She was trembling and he knew it was because of the way she had behaved with the demon. They would talk later. 

Crowley tapped a finger to his nose. "The Moose gets it! They need two thousand children to raise this particular god. The one that they believe will rid them of Godstiel over there. They don't know you've gone impotent. They just think you're biding your time or off fighting Him," he pointed at the ceiling, "for the championship belt." Crowley smiled at Castiel, seeing the angel wince. "What? Truth hurts."

"That was almost two years ago," Castiel said in a soft voice. Dean took a slight step closer to Castiel, never taking his eyes off of Crowley.

"Again, it isn't as if God himself has been involved and then you disappeared from their radar. They just think you're the big deity in charge and are looking for a replacement." Crowley held his hands up in resignation. "What are they supposed to think? You didn't exactly explain yourself when you went all smitey on the world. Nor did you explain where you went afterwards, leaving them to deal with the Leviathan you set loose. Humans will do as they see fit, even if it is insane and will only cause more harm. Yay, free will!"

"But the Eldritch Gods were... how does that work?" Sam questioned.

"Oh Moose, I do love your inquisitive nature. It doesn't work. They're trading one evil for another. If it does happen -which, I'm holding hope that you morons will pull one of those valiant hero moments out of your collective arses and stop it from happening- we're all screwed. Heaven, Hell, Earth and everything in between will be decimated. Those gods have no love for any of us that was why they were banished. They've been living on another plane of existence since before the angels were created." He turned his eyes to Castiel. "Isn't that right, Cas?"

Castiel nodded slowly. "We are taught that there are other planes. When our Father created the Earth it was coveted by...others. Other gods that would have Father's creation for their own. Father created Leviathan, Behemoth, and Ziz to defend his creation from these gods, the angels were too weak to do so. The others succeeded in casting them out and back to their planes. However, Father's creatures began to terrorize the new humans and had to be sent to Purgatory."

"Wait, are these the H.P. Lovecraft Eldritch Gods?" Sam asked.

"No," Castiel and Crowley replied in unison. 

"Lovecraft heard stories and borrowed ideas but his gods and the true Eldritch Gods are vastly different," Castiel explained.

"Just so I get it right, we're dealing with a crazy cult that is bent on bringing back a god using the blood of two thousand kids and, by the way, this god hates humanity. What does this have to do with you?" Dean asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ah, it can think!" Crowley exclaimed sarcastically as he stood up and moved closer to Dean. "See, that's the problem. This cult has also figured out how to summon demons and bind them to their will. You'd need a lot of manpower to steal as many children as they need and if you haven't noticed, the work is real neat. Not sloppy like a human would manage. These bastards are summoning whole sectors of my demons and binding them, having them kidnap for them."

"Wait, so this means the kids are still alive. They need to sacrifice them at once, right?" Sam asks.

"I would assume so. I think we would be seeing little bodies littering the countryside and clogging up the rivers if they were killing as they went," Crowley replied.

"What did you lose?" asked Castiel, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Crowley smirked. "Always on point, aren't you. Well, I have a rather special pendant. It was my mother's. When I was human. It is a large emerald with diamonds around it. I've had it with me forever and I like to take it out once in a while to look at it and remember how much I hated being human and how much I hated that bloody cow that shat me out." He shrugged at the looks he was receiving from the others. "What? I'm a demon."

Dean shook his head in disgust and Sam rolled his eyes.

"Anywho, this little demon managed to steal it from me. This same little demon who also managed to get summoned by the cult and bound to them. Now I can't find him and I want my emerald back!" He was furious now. He leaned in close and poked Dean in the chest. "I want you to find him for me. I want you to bring him back so I can tear him apart."

"What makes you think we give a shit about your domestic issues and some jewelry?" Dean replied.

"Because, if you find him, you'll find the cult. Or vice versa. Either way, you pull this off and I'll help you stop them from summoning the god. Those bastards hated us too so I can promise you I don't want these morons to succeed. You find my pendant, I'll take care of the rest." Crowley glared at Dean, their noses practically touching.

"What is this demon's name?" Dean growled, not backing down. 

Sam glare at his brother. "Dean! Don't you think we should talk about this before you make a deal? It isn't like all our deals with him haven't been a bit-" 

"I'm not making a deal," Dean spat, cutting Sam off. "I'm asking a question. What is the demon's name?"

"Adam," Crowley replied. Dean flinched. "You know him?" Crowley asked, smugly.

Dean moved away, slowly shaking his head. "No. I don't know no demon named Adam. Not personally. I just know where he hit last. Took a couple kids from a sleep over an hour or so from here."

Sam reached over and clapped a hand onto his brother's shoulder for support. He knew Dean hated when kids were involved. Dean shrugged him off. 

Crowley watched them with a smirk on his lips. "Right. Well, that's good. You lot do your duty and find him and in doing so you'll locate the cult. I'll swoop in and finish those posers and we'll all live like happy families again."

"And you'll have your pendent," Castiel added. 

Crowley looked at him for a moment. Blinked. Then smiled. "Ah yes, I'll have my beloved pendent. You'll get all those brats and the world will keep on a-spinnin'."

"Why can't you locate the cult yourself?" Sam asked, still clutching Tamara tightly. She didn't seem too keen on letting go.

Crowley smiled. "Funny thing, being a demon up against a group of people that hate demons and yet are willing to use them for their own nefarious deeds, they freak me out. I have to stay hidden. They get wind of me and try to bind me, well, I fear for all your sakes. I'm a bit unstoppable and if they figure out what they have in me I can't promise that any of this won't fall to shit in our laps. I am capable of much more than just a few kidnappings and if they figure that out they will be ruthless and we really don't want that, do we? I didn't think so. So, I'll go and hide in my little underworld office. They seem to be taking demons from the Earth and not from Hell so I should be safe there. I can only give you a hint. Look into some militia's up in Montana. Especially ones that were started about two years ago. That should give you a good starting point. That won't be where they're keeping the kids, though. Too obvious." With that, he disappeared.

"Shit!" Dean exclaimed, punching the air and kicking at the counter. "He always does this to us! Leading us around by the balls because he knows he can. Fuck! I hate him so much."

"I would be concerned if you didn't hate him. Being the King of Hell," Castiel said as he watched Sam and Tamara leave the office. Tamara had tears in her eyes and Castiel knew Sam would help her. She held so much pain and Sam understood that kind of guilt and sadness. He turned his focus on Dean. 

"I know, Cas. It's just that he knows what we need and he knows what we're capable of accomplishing so he uses it for his own good. It's so tiring being someone's ass monkey all the time. Demons and angels alike. Present company, excluded."

Castiel smirked and moved closer to Dean. He knew his human wasn't too happy with public displays of affection but they were alone in a room with a closed door. Nothing public about it at the moment. So Castiel wrapped his arms around him and molded himself to Dean's back. Dean melted against him. The stress of the past hour or so falling to the side. "There is more to this than you're telling me. You're upset, Dean. Let me help you."

Dean rested his head on Castiel's shoulder and held the arms that wrapped around hm. "It's Adam. This demon thing keeps me thinking that there had to have been something we could have done to save him. We might've had different moms but he's still my brother and I failed him. I couldn't get him out of the Cage. Death said it was either Adam or Sam's soul. I- I couldn't do that to Sammy. Now I just feel like shit every day that we're alive and Adam is stuck down there with the douche brothers. God only knows what they're doing to him. If he's even conscious of it or if he's just alone. He was just a kid. Even if he can't be alive he should at least be in Heaven with his mom."

Castiel turned his face to leave a soft kiss on Dean's neck. "I'm sorry, Dean," he whispered. "I wish there was something I could do. I was barely able to get Crowley to do a good job getting Sam out and I doubt he would risk getting that close to the Cage again. I'm sorry this demon is raking up such bad memories for you." He hated seeing Dean hurt. Which happened more times than not but it didn't change how Castiel felt.

Dean squeezed Castiel tightly and sighed. "It's all good." He turned in Castiel's arms and kissed the angel, softly. "I'll deal."

Castiel kissed him back. This wasn't the time or the place to deepen the kiss even if Castiel wanted to. Instead, he moved away from Dean and helped him gather their weapons. 

"I guess we're heading to Montana," Dean said, giving the office one last look before holding the door for Castiel and finding his brother and Tamara.

~*~

Castiel and Dean were sitting at the table in their motel room staring blankly at the table in utter exhaustion when there was a knock on the door. Castiel stood and opened the door to find Sam standing there looking just as worn and tired. "Hey, Cas," he said as the angel opened the door for him to enter.

They had gotten rooms nearby and decided to wait till morning to travel to Montana. They were still in North Carolina so they had a long trek ahead of them.

"How is Tamara?" Castiel asked and followed Sam to the table. 

Sam sighed. "She's sleeping." He rubbed a hand over his face. "I haven't seen her so upset since Isaac died. It's like she broke. I asked her what happened back there but she said she didn't know. I think all the missing kids are dredging up memories she had thought she'd buried."

Dean handed his brother a beer from the six-pack sitting on the table. "Sounds about right. I mean, I know how this is messing with me and I never had a child to lose."

"But you did, Dean," Castiel said, his head cocked to the side as he looked at Dean intently. "You raised Sam and you had Ben." Sam flinched at the second name. Dean scowled. "You may not be their actual father but you love them both as though you were. I believe that is part of why this case is upsetting you."

Dean took a pull from his beer before he said anything. "Still not the same thing. I didn't give birth to a child and have it killed in front of me. That messes a person up."

Sam raised his eyebrows incredulously and said, "Yeah, because a demon deal to bring me back from the dead was the work of a person thinking clearly." Then he quickly hid behind his beer as Castiel nodded, agreeing with him.

Dean stood up, slamming his beer down and walking to the far side of the room. "Whatever!"

"Dean, I don't understand what is so upsetting. You were made to nurture. It is who you are and it's quite all right if you feel strongly about this situation and can relate to it." Castiel watched Dean pace. "For what it's worth, you were a fantastic father for Sam."

"Yeah, man. Dad was never there and when he was there he was always preoccupied," Sam said and Dean shot him a glare. "I'm not saying he didn't try but think about it, Dean, who made sure I had lunch every day for school? Who checked my homework? Who made sure we had a nice Christmas? My best memories growing up aren't all us as a family. It's you and me, shooting fireworks in a field or sleeping on a beach or even that time you showed me how to make s'mores. Dean, you were my dad in all the ways it mattered."

Dean's face softened as Sam spoke, remembering the moments Sam spoke of with fondness. He hated to think about their dad being such a crap father but in reality, that was exactly what he was, though Dean would never admit it. He would sooner say that Crowley was the perfect role-model. "I guess I didn't do too bad," he said, quietly. He sat down on the bed with his back to the others.

Sam smiled. "Nope. Not too bad. Though, I could have done without your version of sex ed."

Castiel asked, "What is that?"

Dean groaned and flopped backwards onto the bed as Sam twisted in his chair to look at him. "He tossed a box of condoms at me and said, and I quote, 'Sometimes people have it off.' Then you left. I think you even got that line from Ab Fab."

Looking at Sam upside down, Dean pointed a finger at him. "Hey, we were watching that marathon and that was a great line. It worked. Who needs the big talk?" Dean rubbed his hands over his face. "It's better than dad's talk to me."

"Which was?" Sam asked. He'd never heard of dad telling Dean anything about sex so he was utterly interested in what the man had to say.

"Nothing." Dean stood and stretched before walking back to the table. "He said nothing and when he found me in the back of the Impala with Kitty Andrews he still said nothing but that night he asked if I needed condoms because he said he was too young to be a grandfather and, oh yeah, glad it wasn't a guy." Returning to his seat, Dean reclaimed his bottle and saluted the air with his beer. "My dad: not worried about disease or if maybe being 15 was too young for sex. He was happy just as long as I didn't make him a grandpa before his time and that I wasn't banging a dude. Love ya, dad." He necked back the rest of his beer.

"Dad really said that?" Sam shook his head disbelievingly before finishing his own beer. "What a dick!"

"Sam! That's your father. You shouldn't speak ill of him," Castiel chided and turned his attention back to Dean. "Dean does enough of that already."

The two just looked at him. "Did- did you just make a joke, Cas?" Dean asked.

There was a slight curl to the corners of Castiel's lips before he turned his head to look out the window. He looked smug.

"Dad would have hated Cas," said Sam, softly. Castiel's head whipped back to face Sam. "I mean, he would have loved your usefulness and your protective nature but...this," he said, motioning between his brother and the angel. He reached for another beer and opened it on the edge of the table as he said, "This he would have hated." 

Castiel's eyes narrowed. "Was your father homophobic?"

Dean shook his head. "Nope. At least not with the rest of the world. That's the funny part. He just wanted _his_ boys to be manly-men."

Castiel nodded slowly. "Ah, I see. So, he must have been upset by your open sexuality."

Sam choked on his mouthful of beer. "Really? Dean never showed any interest in anyone male until you, man. Dean is Castiel-sexual."

Castiel narrowed his eyes and looked from Sam to Dean. "Never showed any interest before me?" He glanced at Dean with a suspicious look on his face. 

Dean blushed and looked away. Sam's eyes widened. "Really? Who, Dean?"

Dean coughed. "No one. I- I'm- looking doesn't count." His brother started to laugh as Dean defended himself by saying, "Cas isn't really a dude, anyway. Right Cas?"

Castiel said, "I'm genderless, yes. My vessel, however, is completely male. This bothers you?" His face scrunched in confusion.

Dean opened his mouth but Sam cut him off. "No, it really doesn't bother him. He is just still brainwashed by the way our dad thought so it's his gut reaction to live in denial. He loves you, Cas. Don't let him tell you anything different."

Glaring at his brother, Dean slammed his hands down on the table and stood. "I'm hungry. I'm going to get food."

Castiel stood up as well. "I'll go with you."

Sam finished his beer. "I'll go check on Tamara and see if she wants to eat. See you guys in a bit."

There were a couple of fast food places a few blocks over so Dean opted to walk. He needed to get away from the motel room and the way the conversation had been leaning. What did it matter? What did any of it matter? Why do people always have to label things? Couldn't he just be happy? Did it matter who or what made him happy? It shouldn't. So, his dad had wanted his sons to be men but what exactly did that mean? Responsible? Dean was utterly responsible. Sammy was right, Dean had made sure he was always fed and clothed and taken care of even if it meant that he, Dean, had to do without. Sammy always came first. Did being a man mean to protect? His dad said to protect Sam and Dean did, to a fault. He even protected Castiel even though the angel could surely protect himself. Did his father mean that by being a man he had to be strong? Dean was strong, even when he felt weak. He only caved when his brother or his angel were involved. He would always cater to them. They were his world. He was exactly what his father made him and he couldn't be faulted for that, right? So then, why did he feel as though he was such a disappointment? He always felt as though he was never good enough for John Winchester. No matter how hard he tried.

Castiel was silent beside him. Cas was good at that, being silent when you needed to think yet you didn't want to be alone. It was definitely one of the many things Dean liked about him. He cast a side-long glance at Castiel and smiled. Castiel was looking at the trees that hung over their heads and had a look of complete joy on his face. Dean could only assume he was thinking of his Father's wonders. Funny how the two of them both had absentee fathers and yet loved them both so differently. Both trying so hard to make them proud and yet feeling like they were always coming up short.

"I do not believe your father would be disappointed with you, Dean," Castiel said, as if reading Dean's thoughts. He turned his head and smiled at Dean. The corners of his lips tugging upwards, slightly. "You took his instruction, his beliefs, and you followed them to a fault. You have always strived to follow his rules and you were never found lacking."

Dean snorted. "Oh, I was found lacking plenty of times." He shoved his hands in his pockets to stop himself from kissing Cas to shut him up. He really didn't want to have this conversation, even if he was already thinking it in his head.

"No, that was just typical teenage rebellion. He was never disappointed in the man you became," he said, turning his attention back to the passing tree branches and the occasional bee. 

Dean shook his head. "You say this as though you've spoken with him personally. I could never live up to my dad's standards. He was a Marine, he served his country. I could only hunt. When Sam went to Stanford, I was to blame because I had always told him that he could be anything he wanted to be and dad wanted us both to be like him."

Castiel stopped walking and tugged on Dean's arm, pulling him to a halt. "I have spoken with him. In heaven. John is very proud of you both. He is also full of guilt. Guilt for not being there and for being so obsessed that he neglected his boys. He has pain inside him from holding you back. He knew you were a good man and he takes no credit for it. He wants you to be happy and to be what you want to be even if that means you hunt or you don't. You are so very much like him and it scares him. He's afraid you will be consumed as he was and never live." Castiel reached out and brushed his fingers against Dean's stubbled jaw. "I don't think he's right, though. I know you better than that. You are strong yet yielding. You did want Sam to be whatever he had wanted and you always put him first." Castiel's face softened and he looked sad. "Someday, when you have children of your own you will be a wonderful father."

"You say that as if I'll leave you for someone else," Dean whispered, taking Castiel's hand in his own.

Castiel turned his head as he looked across the street clutching Dean's hand tight. "I hold no false hope that I can give you everything you want, Dean. I know that you wish to have a family and I can't give that to you." 

Dean squeezed Castiel's hand. "Too late. You already have. You are my family, Cas. You and Sammy and I guess Tamara as well if Sam makes an honest woman out of her. We'll just have to adopt."

Castiel looked back at Dean and blinked. His face was full of shock and wonder. "Adopt? Dean, are you saying you want to raise children with me? I'm- I'm still an angel. I'm still immortal."

Dean shrugged, releasing Castiel's hand. "So, we have a lot to explain to the kids." He smiled and turned to continue their trek for food. 

Castiel watched him for a moment, watched him walk away. He was full of awe towards this man, this simple human who loved him beyond all reason even if he had never said the words. Castiel knew what was in his heart. He felt his lips twitch into a smile but it fell into confusion when a hand landed on his shoulder, knotted itself into his borrowed plaid shirt and twisted him around.

The angry face of the stranger before him only confused Castiel even more. "You're him! You're that god that killed all those folks."

Castiel furrowed his brow. "I was him. I'm not anymore."

"That doesn't even make sense. Either you are or you aren't!" The man growled in his face.

"I gave up my powers because I was hurting people. I don't want to hurt people," Castiel pleaded. He could easily fly away or even use his strength to free himself from this man but he didn't want to hurt him. He was tired of hurting.

"Yeah, that still makes no sense," he said and punched Castiel in the face. Castiel collapsed into himself as Dean turned to see the confrontation. He hadn't realized the silent angel hadn't followed him and when he did he turned to see the man strike Castiel down.

Dean ran to Castiel as the man and few others began to kick his angel. "The hell do you think you're doing?" he screamed at them. More people had begun to wander closer to see what was going on.

He knelt down beside Castiel and checked him. His nose was bleeding but not broken. That or Cas had already fixed it. 

"That...thing...he killed all those people. He's a monster!" Another man said, running forward and kicking Castiel in the ribs. Dean was appalled. Castiel wasn't even defending himself. "He's probably the one stealing all those kids."

That thought spread through the crowd like wildfire. Fucking universal mind. Suddenly there was a rush of bodies closing in on the two of them. Dean couldn't fight them off and Castiel seemed incapable. Dean had no other choice but to draw his gun. He stood and pulled his Colt 1911 and fired it into the air. The crowd gasped and pulled back.

"Does he look like a god to you?" he said, pointing down at Castiel's crumpled form. "Does he seem all that powerful? Do you honestly think he'd let you hurt him if he was that god? I suggest you all get the fuck back or I may have to show you my power," he said, waving his gun a bit.

The crowd seemed to take that into consideration but it was the sound of the sirens that convinced them to move along. Dean quickly tucked his gun away and pulled Castiel to his feet. They hadn't gotten too far from the motel so Dean led Castiel back. Thankfully, the cops went past and didn't stop them and they made it back to their room in peace. Sam was gone so the room was blissfully empty. Dean sat Castiel on the bed and went to get a washrag and the first aid kit. He came back to find Castiel still sitting in the position he'd left him. He was staring at his hands and Dean began to mumble, "...the hell you were thinking. Freakin' angel and you got your ass handed to you by a couple yokels."

Castiel looked up from his lap and said, "I didn't want to hurt them."

Dean stared at his bruised face for a moment. "But they hurt you. You could have at least flown away."

"And what, Dean?" Cas spat, "Prove to them that I am a threat? That I could still have the power to destroy them? Why propagate such a lie? They wouldn't understand the difference between the powers I _have_ and the powers I _had_. The only answer was to-"

"To let them turn you into chop meat," Dean said, surrendering. He understood, he really did. "I just hate seeing you like this. It reminds me of how the Leviathan hurt you. I never want to see you like..." Dean trailed off, sinking into himself.

Castiel blinked and healed himself. "I never want to cause you that kind of pain." He leaned forward and captured Dean's lips. Slow and soft, the kiss was meant to speak the words they usually never said, however, Castiel felt that was stupid and pulled away to whisper against Dean's mouth. "I love you, Dean."

Dean froze. Castiel looked up into his eyes, fear filling his own as he realized he had just destroyed everything. Dean stared at Castiel for a moment before his face softened and he said, "I know, Cas." He claimed Castiel's lips, deepening the kiss and showing Cas how he felt with his body where he couldn't with words.

Sam ended up calling for take-out.


	3. Three Times a Charm

**Three Times a Charm**

Ajay sat uncomfortably in Crowley's office as the King of Hell explained his needs. This wasn't the first time he'd been called in to speak to Crowley. The first time was a few years ago when Crowley had wanted the souls of Purgatory. Ajay was of no use back then. Oh, he could surely get you into and out of the netherworld but he couldn't extract that many souls. He was a mule, not a cargo train. Something that huge needed a spell and based on the outcome of that situation the madman demon had obviously succeeded. This time, however, was a bit different.

He cleared his throat as Crowley finished speaking. He stared resolutely at the desk before him, refusing to look the demon in the eyes. "So, let me understand, you need me to bring a demon into Purgatory and after a bit bring him out. That's it? I don't get it."

Crowley, who had been sitting at his desk calmly, leaned forward and growled, "You don't need to get it. You need to do it. Let me worry about the details."

Ajay wrapped his long arms around his chest and shivered. He hated Crowley. Most Reapers had no opinion of the powers that be, Heaven or Hell. Ajay used to be that way but after awhile it wore at him, watching souls torn from lives and loved ones. He knew why bad things happened to good people, it was the gift of Free Will. With the good came the bad. For every good choice you also had the option of as many bad choices and that was how it worked. People blamed God for not interfering and stopping it but he couldn't, not if people wanted to keep their Free Will. It was a double-edged sword. However, Ajay had watched it happen and knowing the truth didn't change the pain and the seeming unfairness. Instead, he broke away and decided to live a 'life' and would freelance on the side for those who needed passage into the other realms. He tried to avoid Hell at all cost (and Heaven wasn't exactly his friend) but he was specifically summoned and he knew that even though he left the life he couldn't ignore such a calling. He would surely regret it.

"When will this be taking place?" he said, forcing himself to look into Crowley's eyes.

Crowley leaned back and smirked. "I'll call you, so keep an ear out." He snapped his fingers and Ajay disappeared. He took a deep breath and decided to check in with the Moron Twins and their Pet Angel. He hit his intercom. "Darla, Darling?" 

No answer.

Brow furrowing, Crowley pushed himself up from his desk and crossed to the door. If that bimbo thought she could take a lunch break when she didn't need to eat she was going to find herself a cloud of black smoke in about two seconds flat.

He popped his head out of the office and glared at the empty desk. It was neat and nothing incriminating left on its surface. A passing demon paused as he made his way down the hall. Crowley looked at him and asked, "Where's Darla?"

The demon shrugged. "Sir, I haven't seen her since before Ajay came in. She said she was bringing some paperwork down to Demon Resources. Said she couldn't trust anyone with the information. Said she'd be right back," he babbled.

Crowley waved an impatient hand. "That was an hour ago." He thought for a moment and dismissed the demon. He took a breath and transported himself to DR and demanded to know where Darla was to the first demon he saw. 

The pretty red haired demon shrank into herself. "Sir, she was here an hour ago. I haven't seen her since."

Crowley growled. This was too much. First his new toy was taken and then his favorite secretary. And good AA's were hard to find, especially in Hell. He transported himself back to his office. Nowhere was safe. He needed those two idiots to do their job so he could take care of this bloody cult.

~*~

Dean sat on the edge of the bed while Castiel packed their bags. They were headed west and needed to finally get the hell out of North Carolina. He smiled as Cas meticulously folded freshly laundered socks and underwear into the shared duffel bag. It seemed to bring the angel enjoyment so Dean let him do it, besides, it meant Dean didn't have to.

Castiel zipped the duffel up with finality and looked up at Dean. "I'll take this out to the car and see if Sam and Tamara are ready."

Dean smiled at Castiel and said, "Sure, Cas. I'll be out in a minute." Castiel cocked his head and gave Dean a questioning glance but held his tongue, shouldering the duffel and heading out the door. As soon as it closed, Dean curled in on himself and rubbed his hands over his tired face. Last night had been wonderful but it had put a stress on Dean he was trying to hold in. Castiel had said the words, the words Dean felt never needed to be said because they could only cause bad things to happen. Even Sam understood the power that those words held. Knowing how Castiel felt and how he felt for him was all right. It worked. It didn't need to be spoken. But the words were out now. The universe heard them. Something was going to happen and Dean worried, was sickened deep down, that this was the beginning of the end.

On top of that, there were the children. Those helpless kids that were out there, scared and crying for home and Dean couldn't even help them. He had no idea how to even begin. This was huge. Perhaps bigger than the apocalypse. It was massive. Jody was keeping a world-wide tally for them and there were just over a thousand kids missing. Dean had never felt more useless than he did right now.

The door opened, drawing Dean from his thoughts and he saw Sam looking at him. "Hey, Cas said you looked off. I took that as Cas-language for introspective and thinking," he said, walking in and shutting the door behind him and leaning on it. "Wanna talk?"

Dean looked at his brother and raised an eyebrow at him. "Seriously? We've met before, right?"

Sam flipped him the bird. "Dude, you've met me, right?"

"Right," Dean said, standing and stretching his arms over his head, feeling his back pop into place. "Nope. Don't want to talk. I do want to get moving. You guys ready?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, we're all packed. Cas and Tamara are at the park across the way. They wanted to see the ducks before we left. I told them all they'd see were Canada geese but they insisted that they wanted some fresh air before being cooped up in the Impala for the next 8 hours. Can't blame them, I suppose," Sam shrugged before holding the door open for his brother. Dean stepped out into the sunny day. He looked around and saw park that Sam mentioned and started in that direction with his brother in tow. They walked in silence as they entered the wooded patch of land. It had walkways leading every direction. "Which way do you think they went?" Sam asked. 

Dean looked at the fork in the path that they had arrived at. "Not sure. Why don't we split up and see if we can find them. I'll call you if I find them first." He could just call Cas or Sam call Tamara but he suddenly felt the need to walk through the lush forest around him. Felt a pull toward the left and didn't even hesitate to debate it with Sam, he just went. He followed the twisting little paved walkway where it led as if a rope were pulling him along. His father had taught him a lot about being a hunter but the first thing John Winchester had stressed to his boys was to always follow their instinct. If a gut feeling led you along then you followed it to the end because it was definitely important and shouldn't be ignored. That was what was happening to Dean right now. Dean's feet seemed to move of their own volition as he kept moving onward, letting the path lead the way until it split once more. The right led into the woods but the left led to a clearing and a small playground. There were a few children playing on the equipment and Dean couldn't see an adult in sight. Something felt off and very wrong.

Where before he couldn't stop his feet from moving onward, now he couldn't take a single step as he scoped the area. They were older kids. Young teenagers that didn't need or were too cool to have mom or dad watch out for them. It still didn't change the fact that it was irresponsible for them to be unsupervised considering all the disappearances lately. The instinct that drew him here hadn't lessened any and he was about to call Sam when a voice spoke from behind him.

"Hey big brother."

Dean swung around and was face to face with the half-brother he had thought he'd lost to Hell. "Adam?" he asked in a rough whisper.

"Miss me, Dean? Probably not, seeing as you never came to save me," he hissed, turning his head from Dean to look at the teens. "Stupid. Like shooting fish in a barrel. I could grab all nine of them and it'll take hours before they'd even be missed."

"I don't understand. Adam, how did you get out? I tried but- Death said - I...I'm so sorry," Dean babbled. 

Adam glanced at him, his eyes swimming black before returning to their bright blue. "No worries, Dean-o. I got friends on the downside."

Dean felt his gut clench and anger rise up into his throat. "You're a demon? You're working for the cult?"

Adam smiled. "Yup! Well, I'm supposed to be working for-"

 

"Crowley! That son of a bitch had me looking for my own brother." Dean punch and kicked at the air as if Crowley himself were standing there for him to pummel. "I guess there's no pendant."

"What pendant?" Adam asked, looking confused for a moment before smiling. "Hah! Crowley wanted me back so badly he actually recruited you and Sam? How is Sam? The brother you seem to give a shit about."

"Adam, I tried," Dean said, looking into his youngest brother's eyes.

"You obviously didn't try hard enough," Adam snarled. "Do you know what they did when Sam left? Do you know what it's like to be the chew toy of two archangels? Crowley saved me. He took me out of the Cage and he offered me peace from Lucifer and Michael as long as I helped him out. Of course, then the cult bound me to them and until I'm done here I can't finish my responsibilities to Crowley." He seemed to calm down and his gaze returned to the kids. He watched them fondly as a couple of them tussled back and forth and chased each other the way boys and girls do when they're awkward and like one another. Adam seemed to emanate a sad longing to join them before turning his eyes back to Dean. "Stop them, Dean. Stop this cult. If you do anything for me, please stop this."

"I'm trying Adam. I promise you, I'm trying," Dean said, reaching out to touch Adam's arm. He needed to feel him to know he was really real. Adam flinched away as Dean's phone began buzzing. He quickly pulled it out of his pocket and saw it was a text from Sam stating he found Castiel and Tamara. He replied telling him where he was but not who he was with. "Sam is on his way," Dean said, looking back up at Adam. "He'd love to see you, again."

Adam shook his head, slowly. "I've got work to do so either stop me or kill me but I don't have much of a choice. The binding, you know." He seemed defeated. "Don't think you can kill me and I doubt you can stop me."

"But I can," another voice spoke and both men turned quickly. "Hello, boys."

"Crowley," both brothers spoke, one in disgust and the other in relief. 

"Good job, Squirrel. You found my boy," Crowley said, leering at Adam. "Have I got work for you, young man." His smile was all daggers.

Adam sighed. "Please stop me. I have to take them and...stop me," he pleaded.

Crowley pat Adam on the head and it sickened Dean to see his brother beg the King of Hell for help. "It'll take a bit but I'll do the counter spell to break the binding. First, though, I need to thank big bro over here for finding my prize. I have a reward for you as well."

"Dean?" Sam called, turning onto the path that led to the playground and stopped short as he spied the three men. "Adam? Adam, you're alive? Oh thank God!" he exclaimed, jogging over to them.

"God had very little to do with it, Moose. It was all me," Crowley said with a smirk. "Well, me and a couple of Fey but it was mostly me."

"You," Sam said, incredulously. "You freed our brother?"

"It wasn't like you were going to do it," Crowley replied.

"Dean tried you pompous dick! Death chose my soul over Adam and told him he couldn't have both so don't you dare lay this on him," Sam defended, a finger pointing dangerously close to Crowley's face. 

Adam listened, his expression unchanging as he took in Sam's words. 

Sam looked at him and deflated. "I'm so sorry, Adam. If we could have...I swear we tried. I promise you we tried," he stopped to collect himself. Sam refused to shed tears in front of Crowley. He swallowed and cleared his throat. He knew he needed to change the subject. "Adam, can you tell us anything about this cult?"

Adam actually seemed relieved for the subject change. He glanced at Crowley, silently asking permission to speak and Dean cringed as Crowley nodded his consent. "The cult is working out of an underground fort in North Dakota." He gave them an address. "The kids are there. The place is massive, like an old military bunker and there are thousands of people involved. They won't hurt the kids. Not yet. They don't have enough but when they do they're set for the ritual to call the Eldritch God of their choice. You need to stop them." 

Dean nodded and reached over to place a hand on Adam's shoulder. Adam allowed it this time. "We will," he said, offering his brother a smile. "It's what we do."

Castiel moved closer to Dean, slotting in behind him close enough to offer comfort but not touching the older Winchester. His sword materialized in his hand and Adam glanced over at them, remembering the angel and noted the closeness. Crowley looked at Adam, then Dean and Castiel. Tamara never took her eyes off the demons and watched the way Crowley stared at the boys. Something was wrong. Her instincts told her but she couldn't pinpoint what it could be other than the fact that she stood before two demons, not her favorite beings in the world.

When Crowley reached out two hands, one to grab Adam's shoulder that Dean wasn't touching and the other to grab Castiel, Tamara and Sam didn't have time to react. All four disappeared and Sam cried out his brother's name, "Dean!" Tamara grabbed Sam as he lunged for the open air. "That son of a bitch! He took them! He friggin' took them!"

Tamara pulled Sam to her and held him as hard as she could. "Sam, we'll find them. We found them before and we'll do it again. I promise," she whispered against his chest until he stopped trying to fight. "I promise," she said though her heart didn't hold the faith her voice spoke with.

~*~

Dean woke up to find himself in a steel cage. There was a golden glow in his peripheral vision and as soon as he could focus he saw Castiel standing in a ring of holy fire. "Son of a bitch!"

"You're telling me," Adam said and Dean turned to see his brother standing in a devil's trap.

"What the hell? I thought he liked you?" Dean asked, standing as best he could in the too short cage. 

Adam smiled. "He does but the cult still has power over me and this is the only way I won't run." He shrugged and Dean couldn't help but see how much Adam and Sam were alike. "Can't help myself. It's the friggin' binding. That and I think Crowley's gotten a bit more paranoid since they took his secretary. Darla's his favorite."

Dean raised an incredible eyebrow. "Really?" Adam nodded. Dean turned back to his angel. "You okay, Cas?"

"As good as I can be. Crowley took my sword," Castiel replied. "I'm a bit warm, though. Wish I had room to take off this over-shirt."

"Dude, you're an angel. I thought you didn't feel temperature which is why you freaked people out when you wore that overcoat during the hottest part of summer. In Arizona." Dean moved to lean on the bars to get a better look at Castiel to see if his words were true.

"I'm not bothered by temperature. Holy fire is a different element. It affects me." Castiel fidgeted but didn't move too much and Dean ached to help him.

Crowley took that moment to appear with an armful of supplies. "Hello, boys," he said and went to the nearby table and began to set up. Castiel's sword was tucked in amongst the bowls and ingredients he carried.

"The hell, Crowley? We found Adam for you. What's with the kidnapping?" Dean bitched, leaning on the bars toward the demon.

With his back to the trinity, he continued to set up his table. "See, I have great plans and I'm currently not in the mood to monologue for you."

"I know what he's doing," Castiel spoke. His voice low and gravelly. 

This drew Crowley's interest. "Oh, you do? Please enlighten us, Castiel, Angel of the Lord."

Castiel narrowed his eyes at Crowley before turning his attention to Dean and Adam. "He has found the Trinity spell. It was always considered a myth. We are to be the sacrifice to his domination of the three domains. Dean and I have been to all three, Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. I can only assume Adam has as well or he will be soon. Even a short trip will suffice."

"Cas, are you saying that because we've all been unfortunate enough to win the life sucks lottery we get to die for his cause?" Dean asked, glaring at Crowley, who beamed at him beatifically. 

Castiel sighed. "Yes and no. Yes, we won the 'life sucks lottery', as you say. No, we aren't going to die. Well, we do not need to but we may wish we were going to."

Crowley shrugged and turned back to his spell, adding herbs and different liquids into the bowl. With a flourish he pointed at Adam. "Go time!" He began to chant in Latin as he snapped his fingers over the copper bowl before him and it flashed with a purple flame before going out. He brought the bowl over to Adam and said, "Drink."

Adam looked at the black, inky liquid with a suspicious eye but took the bowl from Crowley. He sighed and hesitated.

"Go on. It'll only break the binding. This isn't part of the big game. That's next as soon as Ajay gets here," Crowley said, nudging the bowl in Adam's hands. 

Lifting it to his lips, Adam took a small sip and gagged. 

"Take it all. It won't be strong enough otherwise," Castiel said, cutting off Crowley's attempt to basically say the same. "You do not want to be bound to the cult. This will free you." He ignored the glare Crowley sent him. 

"I never liked you, Castiel," Crowley growled.

Castiel shrugged the best he could from within the flames. "The feeling is mutual."

Adam sighed and gulped back the rest of the potion and swallowed with a retch. "That was like...ass and...dirt and...dirty ass!" He literally wiped his tongue against the arm of his shirt. Dean chuckled at Adam. Demon or not, it was still his kid half brother and he was still so glad to see him. "Shut up," Adam said with a smirk on his face. He opened his mouth to say something else but suddenly buckled over within his devil's trap and Dean rushed the bars of his cage crying out his name.

"What the hell did you do to him?" Dean shouted.

"Dean, calm down. It's just the potion working. He'll be fine. The binding is breaking and it isn't pleasant but he'll be all right," Castiel explained, trying to calm Dean down from a distance. 

As Castiel said, Adam slowly began to relax and push himself back to standing. He swayed a bit but seemed to regain his composure. "That...that was not fun. I've had worse but that sucked." He smiled at Crowley. 

Crowley smirked back and reached down with a blade and scratched the edge of the devil's trap. Adam took a step toward him and Crowley clapped him on the shoulder. Dean cringed at their camaraderie. With a snap of his fingers, another appeared behind Crowley. "Meet Ajay. He will be your escort into Purgatory. I'll see you back in a half hour." He motioned for Adam to follow the man.

"Don't do it, Adam! You don't want to help him!" Dean shouted, throwing himself against the bars. "He can't be trusted. Whatever he promised you, it's a lie."

Adam paused and turned to look at Dean, his eyes inky black. "Oh, Dean, I can promise that this time he will keep his word since what I want is exactly what he wants. You and Sam to suffer. I think we'll start with your pet angel and Sam's bitch. You'll both pay for leaving me in Hell."

Dean shuffled back from the bars as though they burned. He couldn't speak. He'd tried to explain but Adam was beyond reason. Nothing they had said meant anything to him. They freed him from the cult and now he had no need of Dean or Sam. Dean collapsed into the bottom of the cage and refused to watch as Adam turned back to Ajay.

The former Reaper painted sigils onto the wall and a portal opened. Castiel watched. He knew there would be no stopping the young demon. The pair entered the portal and disappeared.

Castiel turned his attention to Crowley. "So, will you kill me first?"

Crowley turned to look at him as if only just realizing his presence. "Excuse me?"

"Adam said you would make Dean suffer by hurting me first. I just wish to mentally prepare," Castiel replied, earnestly.

"Ah, yes, he would say that. Well, that isn't how this works. I have a special order and special needs of each and if you were dead this wouldn't work. Afterwards, is a different story so basically, Adam can sod off." He picked up a knife and held it aloft. He snapped his fingers and two more demons appeared. "Take Winchester out of his cage and bring him over to the table," he said to his hench-demons and the pair grunted in ascent before going to Dean's cage. 

Castiel watched helplessly as Dean struggled against the pair as they pulled him from the steel box. "Dean, fighting won't help. Just, please. Don't make them hurt you more than they already plan," he pleaded.

Dean sunk into himself. He still resisted but he didn't fight. He just made it more difficult for the two demons as they marched him to the table.

"Place his hand on the table," Crowley commanded. The demons obeyed and Dean turned his face away from the table. He couldn't watch. Castiel couldn't stop watching.

More words spoke in Latin and Dean suddenly screamed out in pain while Castiel cried out his name. Crowley allowed him to pull his hand back and step away from the table. He held up Dean's pinky finger to show him what was taken before he plunked it into a silver bowl. He continued to speak in Latin, tossing bits of dust and herb into the bowl as he spoke. Finally, after it burst into a cloud of silver, Crowley turned to the demons, motioning them to release Dean. "Now, be a good boy and I'll let your angel go. He can't leave this place anyway but I didn't need him getting involved with your part of the spell." 

Dean stood back, cradling his bleeding hand to his chest. He wrapped it up in the tail of his shirt but it had already bled through. It wasn't stopping. He looked at Crowley but couldn't speak. Dean Winchester was genuinely frightened by the whole situation. He didn't know where Sammy was and he and Cas were to be the catalysts for Crowley to control the three domains. He couldn't see an out this time and it scared him beyond belief.   
Lifting the fire extinguisher that sat near the wall, Dean doused the ring of fire that surrounded Castiel. He glanced at Castiel and his heart sank. Castiel's head was hanging in defeat and Dean hated beyond reason the look on Castiel's face. He looked as broken and scared as Dean felt. It was breaking his heart. 

Castiel took a tentative step forward and in a rough whisper asked, "May I heal him?"

Crowley rolled his eyes. "If it will make you cooperate. Fine. Not like it will matter in the end."

Castiel looked at Dean and moved closer to the man. He got right into Dean's personal space and pressed a soft kiss to his trembling lips. His hand reached up to touch Dean's wounded hand and Dean could feel his finger regrow. That was definitely a weird feeling. Castiel leaned his forehead against Dean's and closed his eyes as he whispered, "No matter what happens, remember I love you, Dean. Remember that. Never forget that. Everything I do is for you. You are my all. Never forget." 

He healed Dean's hand and Dean immediately pulled Castiel away so he could look in his eyes. "What are you going to do?"

Castiel only shook his head, slightly. "Please, don't hate me."

~*~

Sam had just hung up the phone with Jody. "She's contacting the Feds with the information. They're going to save those kids."

Tamara closed the trunk of the Impala and checked the gun in her hand. "Good. So now we go get Dean and Cas back." She looked up at Sam and narrowed her eyes. "Don't you go getting discouraged on me, big man. We're going to save your family. Even that demon brother of yours. We'll do what we always do because we're the big goddamn heroes, right? Isn't that what Dean says?"

Sam felt the corner of his mouth lift without his permission but he couldn't help it, Tamara made him smile even when he felt like killing and destroying or just curling up in bed and forgetting. She was the reason he didn't lose hope when they were looking for Cas and Dean before so he shouldn't be too surprised that she was doing it once again.

"We don't know where to begin," he sighed, pushing himself off the side of the car.

Tamara rolled her eyes. "Sometimes I wonder how you've survived without me for so long. When you get in a funk you really start losing brain cells. How did you even get into Stanford?"

Sam narrowed his eyes at her, standing at his full height. "The hell, Tamara? Way to help by talking shit at me." He shoved his phone into his pocket and paused. He was an idiot and she was so right. He pulled his phone out again and pointed at it. She smiled and pulled his laptop out of the bag on her shoulder. "GPS settings. Dean's phone. You brilliant woman!" He leaned in and kissed her, taking the laptop at the same time.

"I do my best," she smiled and held open the back door of the Impala so Sam could sit and work out the coordinates. 

Sam called the phone service and asked them to turn the GPS on the phone using Dean's go to pass and name. Then he traced the phone to a location only thirty minutes away. Before he could speak, Tamara was behind the wheel and pulling out onto the street. "Lord, I missed driving this beauty," she said with a smirk into the rearview mirror.

Sam smiled back at her. She was his hope and he most definitely knew in that moment that he loved her.

~*~

"Cas?" Dean asked, with trepidation. The angel only shook his head and turned to face Crowley. Dean watched the way the tension sat on Castiel's shoulders and he felt himself tense. Something was about to happen and Dean knew he was going to freak the fuck out.

The wall behind him shuttered and the portal reappeared, pulling the attention of all the men in the room. Adam and Ajay stepped forward and Crowley motioned them both close to him.

"Good job, Ajay. As compensation, I have a tip for you," Crowley said, turning and thrusting the angel blade into the former Reaper's chest. "Never trust a demon bent on world domination," he spat as Ajay crumpled to the ground.

With a grin, Crowley turned back to his audience. "I hate loose ends out there telling all my secrets. Ajay was a gossip." He winked.

The two demon henchmen still stood nearby and silent as Crowley placed the blade back onto the table. Crowley turned to his young demon with a smile. Clapping his hands together he said, "Beautiful! We're all set to finish this. You're brother has already donated his bit to the cause. I'll let the angel sweat it a bit more while I take your donation."

Castiel looked at Adam and said, softly, "Adam, if you repent, your soul can be saved. This doesn't have to happen and you can live in eternity with your mother in Heaven."

Adam shook his head. "It's too late for that. I was in Heaven and you dicks pulled me out. Do you think I'd trust you again?"

"I had nothing to do with that and the ones that were involved are dead," Cas pleaded.

"No," Adam said. "It's too late. You can't save yourself, how can you save me?"

Castiel shrunk back into himself and looked away from the young demon.

Adam smirked and moved past Dean and Castiel as though they were invisible and stood beside the table where Dean had been earlier. Crowley began his chanting once more and held the silver knife up, motioning to Adam's arm. Adam held it out and Crowley sliced across his forearm, turning it so the blood spilled into a pewter bowl. Adam healed himself as Crowley repeated the treatment to the contents of the bowl that he had performed on Dean's sorrowful little finger. This time the cloud was gold as it puffed up from the bowl.

Crowley calmly turned to his two demons and said, "Looks like Moose and his bitch have found us. Go get them. They can watch me destroy their family." Adam flinched but only Castiel saw it. The demons disappeared without a word.

Crowley leaned against the table and cleaned his nails with the silver knife. "I think I'll wait a bit for Sam to join us. I think he'll be impressed by all this. It also really saves me from having to actually hunt him down later on. I did promise Adam retribution." He winked at Castiel. 

Castiel turned to look at Dean and something in his eyes made Dean suddenly more afraid than ever. Castiel was planning something and Dean just knew it was going to be horrible. He tried to warn the angel with his face without letting Crowley know anything was happening but Castiel only looked away. The fuck?

Suddenly, the demons were back but this time they held a struggling Sam and Tamara in their grasps. 

"Shove them in the cage," Crowley ordered and as soon as Sam's big body and poor tiny Tamara were inside and locked, he turned to Castiel. "Well Angel, you're up."

Castiel nodded but didn't move. 

"Well, come on. I haven't got all day," Crowley said, motioning to the table.

Castiel turned to Sam and Tamara, he knew Dean would already know this and Adam could do as he wished. "When I manifest my wings, hide your eyes or you will be blinded." The pair nod and Castiel moved to the table. He seemed incapable of looking at Dean so Dean knew something was definitely wrong. 

Taking a deep breath, he relaxed his shoulders and Dean immediately clapped his hands over his eyes hoping Sam and Tamara did the same. There was a sound of rustling feathers and a gasp and a shout and Dean heard Castiel cry out. He wanted to open his eyes but the light was still too bright, even behind his hands it was bordering on painful and he prayed it would end soon.

As the light began to fade, as if hearing his prayer, Dean heard Crowley shout, "You stupid fool! What did you do?"

Dean pulled his hands down to see Castiel crumpled onto the floor. He rushed over and pulled him into his arms. "Cas? Cas, man. Talk to me!"

"Dean! What's happening?" Sam called. His view was blocked by the table and he couldn't see Castiel or Dean.

Castiel coughed and rolled his head into Dean's chest. Dean grabbed his chin and held him so he could look into Castiel's blue eyes. "What did you do?" he whispered as Cas tried to focus on Dean's face.

"I'll tell you what he did," Crowley growled, throwing the table with a flick of his hand. The bowls and potions ingredients went scattering as the table shattered against the far wall. "He ripped out his bloody grace! No grace, no wings. No wings, no feathers. No feathers, my spell is a failure!" He lifted his hand up, the one that still tightly clutched the silver knife. He moved towards Dean and Castiel but was knocked back by Adam and held their by Sam.

When Castiel was ripping his grace out, at the last moment before it would release, he unlocked the cage that held Sam and Tamara and evaporated the two demons dumb enough to not cover their eyes. even Adam and Crowley hadn't scoffed at that warning. Then, with the last trickle of grace he let remain, he cast his grace back up into Heaven. It was over. He would never return until he died, if he was lucky. He was now human.

Adam wrestled the knife from Crowley and Sam had retrieved Ruby's knife from the fallen demon but when Crowley realized he was going to die, he disappeared. Sam was about to strike but when Crowley shifted away, it left him with Adam before him and he couldn't stop before the knife sunk into his half brother's chest. "Shit! Shit, shit, shit!" Sam cried. "Adam! Adam, no!"

Adam looked down at the knife and then back up at Sam and he sighed as the life drained from him. He didn't glow and shudder like a demon. Instead, he gave his brother a sad smile as he fell to the floor, the knife pulling out and remaining with Sam.

Sam stared at his empty hand and his dead brother, the knife falling from his trembling fingers to the floor. "Dean? Dean, what did I do?"

Tamara came up behind Sam and held him tight. "Sam, it was an accident. You didn't mean to kill him. Sweetheart, you didn't mean it."

Sam turned and curled his body around her and buried his face in her neck.

"He..." Cas coughed, clearing his throat. "He repented."

"What?" Dean said, his face wet but he refused to acknowledge how it became that way. He only held the weakened Castiel in his arms as he watched his brother fall apart in Tamara's.

"As I began to remove my grace, I felt it. I felt him repent. He saw your pain. He saw how Sam was helpless. He watched how I was willing to sacrifice myself for the both of you. He wanted that. He wanted to be a part of it so badly he gave a silent prayer to whoever would listen and I heard. He asked to be saved."

Dean finally looked down at Castiel. "But he was a demon. How does that even work?"

Castiel gave him a tired smile. "Everyone who repents is forgiven, Dean. If they mean it. Have you not finished reading the bible?"

"So, does that mean he's-" Sam began, pulling his face from the crook of Tamara's neck.

"In Heaven? Yes. He's back with his mother." Castiel coughed and groaned at the ache in his chest. Dean rocked him gently to calm him. He knew Sam needed him but so did Cas and he felt torn between the two.

Sam felt like shit. He killed his little brother. Tamara pulled him with her towards Castiel and Dean. "Let's leave them. They need to talk. As do we." She knelt down beside Dean. "Take care of him. I'll take the big lad. You're not alone anymore, Dean. I'll help take some of the weight."

Dean touched her shoulder and smiled. "Thank you, Tamara. You are a saint."

"Me? Nope. Just a woman who loves Sam and his crazy family. You guys mean the world to me," she said with a smile. Standing up, she said, "Now take care of him and we'll be outside. Yell if you need us." She tugged Sam with her and disappeared.

"Will Sam be all right?" Castiel asked. 

Dean shook his head. "I don't know. This is heavy. He just killed our kid brother. I'm not sure if he'll ever be okay but I think Tamara will help him."

"We all will," Castiel said, coughing once more.

Dean focused his attention back to his angel. Well, not anymore, he guessed. "What the hell, Cas? Why did you do this?"

"I'm sorry, Dean. I couldn't think of another way to stop Crowley. He needed the feathers. If I'm no longer an angel then he has no feathers and there would be no way he could finish the spell." He coughed, clutching his chest. 

"Shhhh, calm down. Does it hurt?" Dean asked, running a soothing hand over Castiel's chest.

Cas nodded. "It's the physical manifestation of where I ripped my grace from."

"Why are you still here? Shouldn't you be off being born?" Dean asked, softly.

Castiel laughed weakly. "Ouch, that really hurts. Like I've been kicked in the chest by a horse with steel hooves." He looked up at Dean and smiled. "I already have a body. I didn't need a new one. Remember, Jimmy is gone. This body is mine."

Dean and Castiel stared at one another for a few tense moments before finally said, "This means you can die."

That wasn't what Castiel had hoped Dean would realize first. "Yes. Eventually. Or sooner, if I get hurt severely enough. Just like you."

Dean shook his head slowly. "You're human," he whispered.

"I'll grow old. With you," Cas replied. 

"Cas, this is crazy. You were an angel. You could have fought him and gotten away. I wouldn't have blamed you if you had." Dean was appalled by the idea that Castiel would sacrifice so much.

"Dean, I didn't just do it to stop Crowley. I did this for you. I did this because I'm a target. I'm always going to bring trouble. Remember the people yesterday? It will always be this way. I will always bring trouble but now, at least now, when it comes I can defend myself and not fear causing more trouble. I can fight with you and not only be a weapon." He pleaded with Dean, reaching a hand up to grasp the front of his bloodied shirt. "Tell me you understand, Dean."

Dean was silent for a moment, absorbing all of Castiel's words. "You did this for me?"

Castiel nodded.

"Why? I understand all your other reasons but why for me? I'm not worth this, Cas," he whispered.

Cas offered him a soft smile. "To me you are worth so much more." He reached his hand up to Dean's neck and pulled him down to kiss his lips.

Dean returned the kiss, pulling away gently to speak. "Does this mean we can settle down and adopt a couple of kids?"

Castiel nodded again. "If that's what you want."

Dean's face crumpled. "You shouldn't have done it, Cas. It's because you said what you said. It's a curse. I'm a curse."

"No, Dean. You aren't and I'll say it over and over until you begin to believe that I mean it. I love you, Dean. We will hunt or we will settle. We will do what we want and we will do it together and when we die we will continue on into the afterlife." Castiel leaned up against Dean's forehead.

"You really mean it, Cas?" he asked.

"Forever, Dean," Cas replied.

"I guess it can't hurt to say it. We're already cursed. Cas, I-," Dean began to whisper but Cas held a finger to his lips, halting his words.

"You don't need to say it. I already know," Castiel returned and claimed Dean's lips in a soft, lingering kiss that lasted until Tamara and Sam came to collect them.

 

_One half of me is yours, the other half yours  
Mine own, I would say; but if mine, then yours,  
And so all yours.   
(The Merchant of Venice, 3.2.17-9) _

 

The End


End file.
